The Next Meetings |
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Monday 4th December
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AGM - Election of 2018-19 Board
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Sunday 10th December
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Christmas Party at Springfield
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Monday 18th December
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Kris Kringle
Partners Night |
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Duty Roster
If you are unable to be at the meeting please contact the person doing your role the following week/s, arrange a swap and advise Max, so he can amend his records.
Inside This Issue |
Upcoming Events |
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4th December
Soon - Host dependent
10th December
18th December
3&4 February
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Annual General Meeting
Friendship Dinners
Christmas Lunch
Kris Kringle
Weekend Away
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Club Calendar
Take me to the Club Calendar
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Note: This link goes to another page. At the bottom of that page is a link back to this page.
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Cherrybrook Public School participates in Tree of Joy
Cherrybrook Public School keenly participated in this years “Tree of Joy.” Years 4,5 and 6 have provided many presents, between 20-30, and this photo shows Brian collecting those made up by years 4&5 to fulfil baubles taken from the "Tree”.
The New Ronald McDonald House |
RC Beecroft Carols |
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Our Club is Recognised in CTHS NewsletterRelevant Text is immediately below. Click here, Network, for the full newsletter.
Congratulations to Erik Willison Erik has been successful in securing a placement in an upcoming event, the National Youth Science Forum, a twelve-day residential programme held in January at the University of Queensland and Australian National University Canberra. Erik received a sponsorship grant from the Government’s Department of Industry, Innovation and Science under the ‘Inspiring Australia - Science Engagement Programme’. The West Pennant Hills/Cherrybrook Rotary Club were also very generous in providing additional financial support for Erik and endorsing his application for which he is incredibly grateful. We wish him luck and look forward to the stories he will return with in 2018.
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Lightbox is "on"
Marayong Rules!!!!!!
Kris Kringle
Monday 18th December
Springfield House
Dinner meeting/ Partners night
The key aim is for fellowship with a fun night to finish the year
Special guest appearance and gift presentations by Santa
Indicative cost of presents for the “Kris Kringle” gift is $10pp
Please indicate if your present is intended for a male or female, eg with a pink or blue ribbon, wrapping paper etc.
For this to work successfully and to ensure everyone receives a present everyone needs to donate a present, which also corresponds with their sex.
Please bring your presents on the day and leave at the collection point.
Time to celebrate a very successful year
Special guest appearance and gift presentations by Santa
Indicative cost of presents for the “Kris Kringle” gift is $10pp
Please indicate if your present is intended for a male or female, eg with a pink or blue ribbon, wrapping paper etc.
For this to work successfully and to ensure everyone receives a present everyone needs to donate a present, which also corresponds with their sex.
Please bring your presents on the day and leave at the collection point.
Time to celebrate a very successful year
Christmas Lunch
Sunday 10th December
Springfield House
11:30 for 12:00 Noon
$60.00 pp (children 4 to 12yo - $40.00 pc):
As Frank requires numbers by Friday 1st December there will be an attendance list at our next meeting Monday 27th November. You can also pay (cash or eftpos)
at this meeting.
Alternatively please make payment into the club's General Account
(BSB 062 890 Account 1005 2963 ) by Friday 1/12/2017 and identify your payment with your Surname and Xmas Lunch
(If you pay before-hand, apart from confirming numbers it also means your fellow members may enjoy the festivities, rather than having to man a front desk).
Your Social Committee have discussed and approved unanimously to revert to having the “Kris Kringle” at the last meeting before Christmas, being Monday 18th December. Thus no “Kris Kringle” nor Santa during the Christmas Lunch, however the children be suitably catered for.
- Pre- lunch drinks consisting of champagne, orange juice and water along with canapés to be served on the patio –weather permitting.
- Australian red and white wines (two bottles per table) Soft drinks and orange juice.
- Tea and coffee served with chocolates.
- We need to conclude by 4.00pm.
- All other alcohol available at bar prices.
As Frank requires numbers by Friday 1st December there will be an attendance list at our next meeting Monday 27th November. You can also pay (cash or eftpos)
at this meeting.
Alternatively please make payment into the club's General Account
(BSB 062 890 Account 1005 2963 ) by Friday 1/12/2017 and identify your payment with your Surname and Xmas Lunch
(If you pay before-hand, apart from confirming numbers it also means your fellow members may enjoy the festivities, rather than having to man a front desk).
Your Social Committee have discussed and approved unanimously to revert to having the “Kris Kringle” at the last meeting before Christmas, being Monday 18th December. Thus no “Kris Kringle” nor Santa during the Christmas Lunch, however the children be suitably catered for.
Club Weekend Away
Sat 03 Feb - Sun 04 Feb
Saturday 03 February 2018
08:30 Leave by Coach from Cherrybrook Community Centre Carpark
10:00 - 11 :00 Japanese Gardens - Gosford/Edogawa Commemorative Garden
08:30 Leave by Coach from Cherrybrook Community Centre Carpark
10:00 - 11 :00 Japanese Gardens - Gosford/Edogawa Commemorative Garden
Gosford formed a Sister City Agreement with Edogawa Japan in 1988. A gift from Edogawa, the Edogawa Commemorative Garden was officially opened in September 1994 and has been designed in accordance to the original principles of the Japanese Heian (700AD) period.
Extending over 4,000m2, the garden is based on a traditional ‘shuyu’ (strolling style) garden, incorporating Japanese features. With meandering pathways, a roofed Japanese pavilion overlooking the Koi pond, raked dry stone garden and traditional Japanese teahouse, the garden offers a tranquil setting in which to relax and enjoy art and nature. |
11:00 - 13:00 Auto Museum
Gosford Classic Car Museum was born out of a passion for the artistry of automobiles. Covering an expanse of more than 11,000 square metres, the museum began accumulating classic vehicles in June 2015.
It now showcases approximately 450 cars, with a total value of over $70 million. 95% of the vehicles in the collection have been bought within Australia, with the remaining cars coming from the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe. One of the museum’s first purchases was a collection of 53 cars from the Rambler Museum of Western Australia that were previously owned by John Ivy. The museum now welcomes automotive enthusiasts to enjoy and appreciate the magnificence of these classic and vintage cars and motorcycles. With 35 Ferrari’s on display, 25 Communist Cars and the full range of Holden’s from 1948 – 1978, there’s an impressive range of vehicles to please everyone. |
13:00 – 15:00 Lunch at The Coast Restaurant & Bar
Relax with a beverage and watch the boats sail by. We are committed to providing a mouth-watering cuisine using only produce that is always fresh and of the highest quality. Our elegant yet simple take on the cuisine adds a unique and captivating slant to an old favourite.
Drinks at own expense for lunch. |
15:00 Botanical Distillery
Award winning Gin / Vodka & Liqueurs
Award winning Gin / Vodka & Liqueurs
It’s here that we grow and handpick the botanicals that give our gin its distinctive character. We reckon the fresher the botanicals the more fragrant the gin. And it’s that scent that we love most. It’s why we use ‘enfleurage’, a thousand-year-old technique, to extract the purest perfume from our hero botanical, Murraya, without the use of heat. This makes the delicate Murraya come alive, with cues of Jasmine, Honeysuckle and Orange Blossom. It’s all about capturing our ingredients as purely as possible. Distilling the essence of our summer garden and delivering it perfectly to yours. We call it Garden Grown Gin.
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16:00 Check in The Clan Hotel, Terrigal
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17:00 Leave Hotel for Barry Freeman’s Home in Kilcare
17:30 – 19:00 Drinks at Barry’s and the Park
Snacks & Drinks (wine, champagne, beer, soft drink included)
19:00 Dinner at Yum Yum’s, Hardy Bay
17:30 – 19:00 Drinks at Barry’s and the Park
Snacks & Drinks (wine, champagne, beer, soft drink included)
19:00 Dinner at Yum Yum’s, Hardy Bay
Yum Yum Dining, located in beautiful Hardy’s Bay, overlooks the stunning Brisbane Water.
At Yum Yum Dining, experience exceptional food and service with fresh, modern flair. Drinks at own expense for dinner. |
Later that evening return to the Clam’s Hotel
Sunday 04 February 2018
08:00 Breakfast in the Hotel
09:30 Coach departs Hotel for Brooklyn
11:00 – 14:00 ‘Sunday on the Hawkesbury’ with the Postman’s boat
Brooklyn River Boat Fish/Chip Lunch
Sunday 04 February 2018
08:00 Breakfast in the Hotel
09:30 Coach departs Hotel for Brooklyn
11:00 – 14:00 ‘Sunday on the Hawkesbury’ with the Postman’s boat
Brooklyn River Boat Fish/Chip Lunch
A 3 hour cruise of the spectacular Hawkesbury River. Enjoy morning tea and a delicious local fish’n’chip lunch on board as you sit back and see the grand old Hawkesbury at its lazy best.
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1400 - 15:00 Farwell Drinks at Brooklyn Pub
16:00 Return by coach back to Cherrybrook Community Centre Carpark
TOUR COST:
Total Cost is $375.00 per person, which includes: (based on a minimum of 40 persons)
the entrance fees to attractions mentioned,
one nights accommodation at the Clan Hotel
1 x breakfast,
2 x lunches,
1 x dinner
Drinks & Snacks at Barry’s home
Coach transportation.
We require a deposit of $200.00 per person by Thursday, 30 November, 2017
Balance is due by Wednesday 03 January 2018
Bank Details
Ros
16:00 Return by coach back to Cherrybrook Community Centre Carpark
TOUR COST:
Total Cost is $375.00 per person, which includes: (based on a minimum of 40 persons)
the entrance fees to attractions mentioned,
one nights accommodation at the Clan Hotel
1 x breakfast,
2 x lunches,
1 x dinner
Drinks & Snacks at Barry’s home
Coach transportation.
We require a deposit of $200.00 per person by Thursday, 30 November, 2017
Balance is due by Wednesday 03 January 2018
Bank Details
- ¨¨ Payment Details: Direct Deposit or electronic transfer to our bank account:
BSB 332-051, Account Number 551400836, St George Business Banking,
North Sydney NSW 2000.
Account Name Tip Top Travel Service Pty Ltd t/a Atour Travel Service Client A/c
OR…..
You can call into the office at Cherrybrook
Ros
District Conference
Saturday 10 - Sunday 11 March 2018
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REGISTER FOR THE 2018 DISTRICT CONFERENCE BY 30 NOVEMBER FOR EARLY BIRD DISCOUNT!
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Saturday Night Theme - Colour Your World, Be Happy
Theme for Saturday Night - "Colour Your World - Be Happy"
Best dressed female/male/table and lucky door with local wine in the offering as prizes.
Need lots of bright colours , orange, purple green etc.
Best dressed female/male/table and lucky door with local wine in the offering as prizes.
Need lots of bright colours , orange, purple green etc.
The music will be provided by "Turtle Search Big Band"
A great time for catch up, music, hip swinging, few drinks and lots of laughter. |
Guest Speaker is announced...
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December is Disease Prevention and Treatment Month
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Our health is everything. Yet 400 million people in the world can’t afford or don’t have access to basic health care. We believe good health care is everyone’s right.
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Disease results in misery, pain, and poverty for millions of people worldwide. That’s why treating and preventing disease is so important to us. We lead efforts both large and small. We set up temporary clinics, blood donation centers, and training facilities in underserved communities struggling with outbreaks and health care access. We design and build infrastructure that allows doctors, patients, and governments to work together.
Our members combat diseases like malaria, HIV/AIDS, Alzheimer’s, multiple sclerosis, diabetes, and polio. Prevention is important, which is why we also focus on health education and bringing people routine hearing, vision, and dental care.
Our members combat diseases like malaria, HIV/AIDS, Alzheimer’s, multiple sclerosis, diabetes, and polio. Prevention is important, which is why we also focus on health education and bringing people routine hearing, vision, and dental care.
HOW ROTARY MAKES HELP HAPPEN
Disease does not prevent itself. We educate and equip communities to stop the spread of life-threatening diseases. Rotary members have hundreds of health projects underway around the world at any given time.
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Note: Clicking on each link will open a new website each in a new window. Closing these windows will allow a return to this site.
Have not given Malaria Link as destination appears out of context.
Have not given Malaria Link as destination appears out of context.
Wanted - New Members
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We are experiencing another drought with respect to prospective new members.
If you know of someone who would benefit from Rotary, or, from whom Rotary would benefit if they were a member, then contact Keith. Click here for a PDF copy of the form to the right, and send or give it to Keith.
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Significant Club fundraising events during the year
The Book Sale March 2017. As the result of a lot of hard work the April Book Sale was a great success, especially from the organisers Max Henderson, Andrew Little and Clive Denmark. Funds raised were circa $13,000. Well done.
2017 Trivia Night
The Club held a very successful trivia night on Saturday 26 August 20167at the Cherrybrook Community Centre, raising just over $5,000 towards the charities we support.
The Club held a very successful trivia night on Saturday 26 August 20167at the Cherrybrook Community Centre, raising just over $5,000 towards the charities we support.
The Garage Sale
We have just had our best and most successful Garage Sale on the weekend of 7&8 October raising a record gross - north of $35k.
Excellent Project Management and a large number of dedicated volunteers, some putting in hours of effort, in the weeks before the weekend contributed to this result.
We have just had our best and most successful Garage Sale on the weekend of 7&8 October raising a record gross - north of $35k.
Excellent Project Management and a large number of dedicated volunteers, some putting in hours of effort, in the weeks before the weekend contributed to this result.
Barbecues
The club runs fund raising barbecues throughout the year, mainly at Bunnings (both Dural and Thornleigh) Here are Barry, Tony, Nick and David hard at work. at Thornleigh..
The club runs fund raising barbecues throughout the year, mainly at Bunnings (both Dural and Thornleigh) Here are Barry, Tony, Nick and David hard at work. at Thornleigh..
Meetings
Monday 6:30pm for 7:00pm - Springfield House - 245 New Line Road, Dural 2158
Apologies
If you are unable to attend or are bringing a guest (even if they are your partner) you must notify Jilda.
Phone 8484 7106 or email jilda.coles@wge.com.au before 11am on the day of the meeting.
Phone 8484 7106 or email jilda.coles@wge.com.au before 11am on the day of the meeting.
If you are expected and do not show you will be required to pay for the meal.
President's Report 27th Nov
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President Colin welcomed fellow members and partners (Pat, Jill, Anne, Glenda, Margaret, Dianne and Bev. Tonight the club had a wonderful opportunity to showcase itself to a large number of guests:
Business Items
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Presidents Meeting-
Bunnings BBQ Dural Dec 2nd – Janelle is not able to attend but she has it all organised - Morning shift (8.00am - 2.00noon) Max, Linda, Charlie and Neville (yet to confirm) Afternoon shift (12.00 noon - 4.00pm) Keith, Peter S, Paul, Tracey Kemp (she is Janelle this time round and just as nice!) Anne will speak about the Share the Dignity program and “ Its in the Bag project”. This program will utilise the handbags collected and not sold at the garage sale. Please contact Anne for further details. |
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Ian Roberts was made a Paul Harris Fellow (PHF). Some background for our guests and newer Rotarians. The presentation of Paul Harris Fellow recognition is The Rotary Foundation's way of expressing its appreciation for a substantial contribution to its humanitarian and educational programs. It is named for the founder of Rotary, Paul Harris, a Chicago lawyer who started Rotary International with three business associates in 1905.
A PHF award requires a contribution of $1000USD to the Rotary Foundation either by a Rotarian or a club. The Foundation carries out an array of programs that achieve beneficial changes in our world: improved living conditions, increased food production, better education, wider availability of treatment and rehabilitation for the sick and disabled, new channels for the flow of international understanding, and brighter hopes for peace. For instance, Foundation donations have wiped out 99.9 percent of all polio cases. In the case of polio each dollar that the Foundation donates receives another $2 from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.
During the past 100 years, the Foundation has spent $3 billion on life-changing, sustainable projects. More than 90 percent of donations go directly to supporting our service projects around the world.
Rotarians often designate a Paul Harris Fellow as a tribute to a person whose life demonstrates a shared purpose with the objectives of The Rotary Foundation or Rotarians or even non-Rotarians, who have made a significant contribution to the club and its activities.
Tonight we have the honour and pleasure of recognizing Ian Roberts as he becomes a Paul Harris Fellow. Ian is a past member of this club who resigned due to ill health in June. Ian has been designated by this Club’s Board to receive this recognition as a special expression of appreciation for his contribution to setting the accounting system that the club uses and which is commended by the auditor for its simplicity. Furthermore, Ian and Jeanette continue to support the club as Friends of Rotary.
It gives me great pleasure, Ian, to present to you the two emblems of appreciation given to a Paul Harris Fellow certificate, and pin. Please accept our congratulations. Jeanette was presented a bunch of flowers by Anne Sharpe.
I remind stewards that their duty is not completed until pack-up is complete.
Thank you all for coming tonight and have an enjoyable week making a difference until we meet next Monday.
President Colin Sharpe
A PHF award requires a contribution of $1000USD to the Rotary Foundation either by a Rotarian or a club. The Foundation carries out an array of programs that achieve beneficial changes in our world: improved living conditions, increased food production, better education, wider availability of treatment and rehabilitation for the sick and disabled, new channels for the flow of international understanding, and brighter hopes for peace. For instance, Foundation donations have wiped out 99.9 percent of all polio cases. In the case of polio each dollar that the Foundation donates receives another $2 from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation.
During the past 100 years, the Foundation has spent $3 billion on life-changing, sustainable projects. More than 90 percent of donations go directly to supporting our service projects around the world.
Rotarians often designate a Paul Harris Fellow as a tribute to a person whose life demonstrates a shared purpose with the objectives of The Rotary Foundation or Rotarians or even non-Rotarians, who have made a significant contribution to the club and its activities.
Tonight we have the honour and pleasure of recognizing Ian Roberts as he becomes a Paul Harris Fellow. Ian is a past member of this club who resigned due to ill health in June. Ian has been designated by this Club’s Board to receive this recognition as a special expression of appreciation for his contribution to setting the accounting system that the club uses and which is commended by the auditor for its simplicity. Furthermore, Ian and Jeanette continue to support the club as Friends of Rotary.
It gives me great pleasure, Ian, to present to you the two emblems of appreciation given to a Paul Harris Fellow certificate, and pin. Please accept our congratulations. Jeanette was presented a bunch of flowers by Anne Sharpe.
I remind stewards that their duty is not completed until pack-up is complete.
Thank you all for coming tonight and have an enjoyable week making a difference until we meet next Monday.
President Colin Sharpe
Night Report
Opening:
Sgt Ric opened the Youth Night meeting with his usual enthusiasm which is always a good start for the evening. Nick Chuah proposed the toast and the English cricket team got an inclusion.
President Colin’s Report: Refer to report immediately above.
It was mentioned that Malcolm Cameron was the solicitor who in 2009/10 acted pro bono for the Club (together with a Queens Council) in a matter involving a protracted insurance claim. Malcolm was subsequently awarded a PHF from the Club. His father is John Cameron a former DG of our District.
Directors and Other Reports:
International – Peter Stanton reported on 2 projects under close examination. He is visiting the Philippines with another Rotarian next week to investigate a clean water membrane filtering project for 17 schools. The trip is sponsored by Disaster Aid Australia, a Rotary affiliated organisation. The other project under consideration is in East Timor.
“The Next Big Thing” project - Tony Coote advised the Club was proceeding with a project at St Gabriel’s School, Castle Hill (a school for children with disabilities). It involves 5 large shade sails (Tom Westcott involvement) and a bicycle shed. Plan is for completion pre-Christmas. Club labour will be required.
Two other projects under investigation are defibrillator installation at the local shopping centre and Bidigel Reserve (Excelsior Reserve) track work.
Social – Roslyn Savio mentioned deposits for the Terrigal weekend away (Feb 3 and 4) closes this Friday because deposits for the bus and motel must be prepaid. More members/friends needed.
– Col Baxter advised the Clubs Christmas lunch set down for Sun 10th Dec also closes this Friday and more members/friends needed.
President Wife’s Project – Anne Sharpe is looking for support for the filling of handbags for women who have had to leave home urgently. Anne has the handbags and more information regarding contents.
Youth Report – Youth Night. Each of the students introduced themselves, thanked the Club for their support and spoke of their anticipation in respect of the upcoming course.
· RYPEN – Rotary Program of Enrichment. Feb 2-4 - an intensive residential weekend for young people aged approximately 15 to 16 years.
Ø Alexander Briggs Y9 CTHS with attending parents Rosa and Michael.
Ø Charlotte Cameron Y9 CTHS with dad Malcolm and sister Bridget.
· RYLA - Rotary Youth Leadership Awards in Jan - a 7 day program for young adults aged 18-27
Ø Anuki Suraweera. Anuku has been out of school 1 yr and is currently studying Arts/Law at Syd Uni.
· NYSF - National Youth Science Forum in Jan - a 12 day experience held in Brisbane (and Canberra) for outstanding students commencing Year 12.
Ø Erik Willison – accompanied by his parents David and Gina
· RYE - Rotary Youth Exchange - an international exchange program which enables current Year 9 or 10 students to spend the following year in another country attending secondary school while living with host families. The major objective is to further international understanding and goodwill.
Ø Mikaela Love with her parents Simon and Nicole, brother William, sister Rebekah. Mikaela is heading to Denmark (“43 days to go”) and was presented with her blazer. She will be staying in a town 15kms west of Copenhagen. She has a passion for Design and Technology. Facebook is new to her but has helped facilitate the introduction to her first host family.
The meeting successfully concluded with Diane Simpson and Malcolm Cameron both showing exceptional care and skill to respectively win the “Heads and Tails” and Raffle.
Colin McGowan, Night Reporter
Sgt Ric opened the Youth Night meeting with his usual enthusiasm which is always a good start for the evening. Nick Chuah proposed the toast and the English cricket team got an inclusion.
President Colin’s Report: Refer to report immediately above.
It was mentioned that Malcolm Cameron was the solicitor who in 2009/10 acted pro bono for the Club (together with a Queens Council) in a matter involving a protracted insurance claim. Malcolm was subsequently awarded a PHF from the Club. His father is John Cameron a former DG of our District.
Directors and Other Reports:
International – Peter Stanton reported on 2 projects under close examination. He is visiting the Philippines with another Rotarian next week to investigate a clean water membrane filtering project for 17 schools. The trip is sponsored by Disaster Aid Australia, a Rotary affiliated organisation. The other project under consideration is in East Timor.
“The Next Big Thing” project - Tony Coote advised the Club was proceeding with a project at St Gabriel’s School, Castle Hill (a school for children with disabilities). It involves 5 large shade sails (Tom Westcott involvement) and a bicycle shed. Plan is for completion pre-Christmas. Club labour will be required.
Two other projects under investigation are defibrillator installation at the local shopping centre and Bidigel Reserve (Excelsior Reserve) track work.
Social – Roslyn Savio mentioned deposits for the Terrigal weekend away (Feb 3 and 4) closes this Friday because deposits for the bus and motel must be prepaid. More members/friends needed.
– Col Baxter advised the Clubs Christmas lunch set down for Sun 10th Dec also closes this Friday and more members/friends needed.
President Wife’s Project – Anne Sharpe is looking for support for the filling of handbags for women who have had to leave home urgently. Anne has the handbags and more information regarding contents.
Youth Report – Youth Night. Each of the students introduced themselves, thanked the Club for their support and spoke of their anticipation in respect of the upcoming course.
· RYPEN – Rotary Program of Enrichment. Feb 2-4 - an intensive residential weekend for young people aged approximately 15 to 16 years.
Ø Alexander Briggs Y9 CTHS with attending parents Rosa and Michael.
Ø Charlotte Cameron Y9 CTHS with dad Malcolm and sister Bridget.
· RYLA - Rotary Youth Leadership Awards in Jan - a 7 day program for young adults aged 18-27
Ø Anuki Suraweera. Anuku has been out of school 1 yr and is currently studying Arts/Law at Syd Uni.
· NYSF - National Youth Science Forum in Jan - a 12 day experience held in Brisbane (and Canberra) for outstanding students commencing Year 12.
Ø Erik Willison – accompanied by his parents David and Gina
· RYE - Rotary Youth Exchange - an international exchange program which enables current Year 9 or 10 students to spend the following year in another country attending secondary school while living with host families. The major objective is to further international understanding and goodwill.
Ø Mikaela Love with her parents Simon and Nicole, brother William, sister Rebekah. Mikaela is heading to Denmark (“43 days to go”) and was presented with her blazer. She will be staying in a town 15kms west of Copenhagen. She has a passion for Design and Technology. Facebook is new to her but has helped facilitate the introduction to her first host family.
The meeting successfully concluded with Diane Simpson and Malcolm Cameron both showing exceptional care and skill to respectively win the “Heads and Tails” and Raffle.
Colin McGowan, Night Reporter
Night Photos
Lots of photos from a big night ...
Editors Note: Click on a photo for a larger view.
A second batch ...
Click to set custom HTML
This Week's Humour
Jeweler's
A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past
Friday evening with a beautiful, much younger, woman at his side.
Hetold the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought
another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000', the jeweler said.
The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated,
'By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now
and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said
'Sir...There's no money in that account.
''I know,' said the old man...'But let me tell you about my weekend.’
Colin S
Friday evening with a beautiful, much younger, woman at his side.
Hetold the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought
another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000', the jeweler said.
The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated,
'By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now
and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said
'Sir...There's no money in that account.
''I know,' said the old man...'But let me tell you about my weekend.’
Colin S
Male Logic
After 10 years the wife starts to think their child looks kind of strange.
So she decides to do a DNA test.
She finds out that the child is actually not theirs but is from completely different parents.
Wife: "Honey I have something serious to tell you."
Husband: "What's up?"
Wife: "According to the test DNA results that I have had done, it turns out that this is not our baby I gave birth to!"
Husband: "Yeah. Well you don't remember do you? When we were leaving the hospital, you noticed that our baby had poohed in its nappy.
You said to me:" Please go change the baby. I'll wait for you in the car".
So I went inside, left the dirty one there and got a clean one!"
So she decides to do a DNA test.
She finds out that the child is actually not theirs but is from completely different parents.
Wife: "Honey I have something serious to tell you."
Husband: "What's up?"
Wife: "According to the test DNA results that I have had done, it turns out that this is not our baby I gave birth to!"
Husband: "Yeah. Well you don't remember do you? When we were leaving the hospital, you noticed that our baby had poohed in its nappy.
You said to me:" Please go change the baby. I'll wait for you in the car".
So I went inside, left the dirty one there and got a clean one!"
Jim
AGE IDENTITY
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CANT LOOK THAT OLD? WELL......YOULL LOVE THIS ONE!
MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DENTAL DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.
SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY SECONDARY SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.
COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.
THIS BALDING, GREY HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS FAR TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK SECONDARY SCHOOL .
YES, YES I DID. IM A MORGANNER! HE BEAMED WITH PRIDE.
WHEN DID YOU LEAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE? I ASKED
HE ANSWERED, IN 1965. WHY DO YOU ASK?
YOU WERE IN MY CLASS! I EXCLAIMED.
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.
THEN THE UGLY,
OLD,
BALD,
WRINKLED,
FAT
GREY HAIRED,
DECREPIT,
BASTARD ASKED..
WHAT DID YOU TEACH?
MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DENTAL DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.
SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY SECONDARY SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.
COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.
THIS BALDING, GREY HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS FAR TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK SECONDARY SCHOOL .
YES, YES I DID. IM A MORGANNER! HE BEAMED WITH PRIDE.
WHEN DID YOU LEAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE? I ASKED
HE ANSWERED, IN 1965. WHY DO YOU ASK?
YOU WERE IN MY CLASS! I EXCLAIMED.
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.
THEN THE UGLY,
OLD,
BALD,
WRINKLED,
FAT
GREY HAIRED,
DECREPIT,
BASTARD ASKED..
WHAT DID YOU TEACH?
Jim
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