Inside This Issue |
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Upcoming Events
Next Meetings
Bev Jackson - The Smith Family |
Monday 6th May |
The Smith Family is an Australian, independent non-profit children's charity whose goal is to create opportunities for disadvantaged children and their families and encourage them to participate more fully in society, using education as a key tool.
Brian Hoare - Variety Bash |
Monday 13th May |
Upcoming Events
St Gabriel’s School Castle Hill – Another Project for Us.
Following on from our successful funding and installation of a Sporting Equipment Shed and Shade Sails installed by Tom Westcott for St Gabriel’s in 2018, we asked if our club could support a new project this year.
The Board believes that St Gabriel’s is our best local community Service Opportunity and fits well with the criteria we developed for the “Next Big Thing” project.
At the board meeting on 13th March, the Board decided to go ahead. With this commitment in place, work will take place during the second school term and we will be looking for volunteers to assist.
Details from St Gabriel’s are below.
Sustainability is a focus for the school this year and one of the projects we want to get off the ground and particularly involve the new year 7 seven students is a school community vegetable garden. Part of the new year 7 curriculum in Food Technology is a focus on Life Skills (home cooking). We think having a vegetable garden in this area will be a very good way to teach the life skills cooking program from a wholistic approach.
We’ve had some meetings with our Deputy Head and the year 7 teacher and drawn up a concept of what we would like to do and how we would like to organise it. The area we are looking at is next to the new modular classrooms (see Vege Bed Area pic attached). Attached is a scale plan and a breakdown of elements and costings for the project.
We’d like to make the area self-contained, so that everything we need is right there and can also be packed away. So we’d start with a small storage shed for tools, we can harvest water from the classroom roofs into a tank, we could compost. Teachers could also use an outdoor blackboard to plan lessons in the area. We’d have a range of bed heights for our students to access as well as colourful beds and a welcoming sign for the area that maybe our art department can help out with.
In terms of a project cost, we estimate that it would be in the range of 4-5K to purchase everything but there would also a few man-power days in erecting the timber shed, setting up and filling the beds, setting up the water tank and reworking the gutter, so it is definitely a project that you can get your hands dirty on.
David Turnbull and I will lead the project for our club.
Tony Coote
Rotary Car Run |
Sunday 19th May |
Completed Events
ANZAC Night - WPH Sports |
Tues 23rd April |
Duty Roster
If you are unable to be at the meeting please contact the person doing your role the following week/s, arrange a swap and advise Keith, so he can amend his records.
Also, to avoid being rostered on, please notify Keith of any upcoming known absences (eg holidays) from meetings in the next twelve months.
Also, to avoid being rostered on, please notify Keith of any upcoming known absences (eg holidays) from meetings in the next twelve months.
Wanted - New MembersIf you know of someone who would benefit from Rotary, or, from whom Rotary would benefit if they were a member, then contact Tony C.
Click here for a PDF copy of the form to the right, and send or give it to Tony C. |
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Significant Club Fundraising Events during the year
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The Book Sale March 2019
As the result of a lot of hard work the MarchBook Sale was a great success, especially from the organisers Andrew Little, Max Henderson, Neville Hansen and Rosemary Clarke. Funds raised exceeded $19,000. Well done.
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2018 Trivia Night
The Club held a very successful trivia night on Saturday 25 August 2018 at the Cherrybrook Community Centre, raising near $6,250 towards the charities we support. |
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The Garage Sale 2018
We have just had our best and most successful Garage Sale on the weekend of 13 & 14 October raising a record gross - north of $35k.
Excellent Project Management and a large number of dedicated volunteers, some putting in hours of effort, in the weeks before the weekend contributed to this result. |
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Barbecues
The club runs fund raising barbecues throughout the year, mainly at Bunnings (both Dural and Thornleigh) Here are Barry, Tony, Nick and David hard at work. at Thornleigh.. |
Meetings |
Monday 6:30pm for 7:00pm - Springfield House - 245 New Line Road, Dural 2158 |
Apologies |
If you are unable to attend or are bringing a guest (even if they are your partner) you must notify Julie.
Email [email protected] before 1pm on the Friday before the meeting. Please no communication via phone (either verbal or SMS) |
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If you are expected and do not show you will be required to pay for the meal.
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President's Report 29th April
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President Colin Welcomed 26 members and 3 guests to the meeting. Rtn Nilesh Kapse was visiting from the Third Rotary Club of Bangalore and he gave a short talk about his club. Adrian Sonego came as guest of Rtn Keith. Our guest speaker was Rtn Jeremy Carter, President of the Norwest Sunrise Club, here to share some insights about how to attract new members.
It is good to be back at a normal Monday meeting after nearly 3 months away. Thank you President Elect Keith for doing a wonderful job as acting President. Thank you to Rtn Bill and the BBQ team who added around $900 to the club’s fundraising account last week. Last Saturday the Presidents from District 9685 met to discuss amalgamation with District 9675 (South of the Harbour to Wollongong). Keith gave an in-depth report during dinner. The two papers that were made available for the meeting are worth reading. I sent them to members this evening along with a paper that came out after the meeting. District is keen to receive feedback from clubs, so if you have some comments please sent them to me. The vote on whether District 9685 agrees to continue to work towards a larger Sydney District, or Not. |
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Anne, Jill, David and I went to The Rotary Club of Coonabarabran’s 70th birthday celebration and changeover. They held their changeover early because their current President is going on extended overseas leave. We donated another $2000 to them for drought relief – making $21,000 in total. We were warmly welcomed, and our drought relief support was specifically mentioned by the District Governor and the Club President. Four of their members (two sets of husband and wife members) have indicated they may come to our Changeover. We visited the farm of a husband and wife who are club members (Marie and Tony Knight). Their farm is at the foot of Siding Springs Observatory and is still in severe drought, hence, they are not lambing this year. Their one significant rain event produced a flood that washed out fences and filled water dams with silt.
If you were wondering where SK is – regretfully he has moved to Brisbane to work.
Thank you to those who provided feedback for the District Representative Nominating Committee for the Zone RI Director.
Thirteen members/partners joined the West Pennant Hills and Cherrybrook Lions Club to commemorate ANZAC. We listened to Vin Cosgrove (assisted by his wife Nancy) talk about his experiences in the Vietnam War and show some of his personal photos. Vin is an enlightening speaker who would make a good speaker for another combined club meeting.
The Rotary Club of Pennant Hills called a meeting of local Rotary clubs last week to discuss a “Rotary Opening” for North Conex sometime in 2020. Five Clubs attended and agreed to cooperate. Greg Keighran (Beecroft) is going to lead an organising committee consisting of a member from each club. It is expected that more clubs than the five will join. I will represent our club and we are meeting again on May 9 to flesh out a proposed program for discussion with North Conex and it’s stakeholders.
Rtn Jeremy was thanked for an inspirational insight to building club membership. Jeremy was presented with a cheque for $800 to go toward his Club’s Wheelchair for Amruta project. Amruta Bhanushali is almost 11 years old and attends the Hills School in Sydney. She was born with a number of chronic medical conditions that makes life more challenging for her but she makes the most of every day and brings smiles to the faces of all the people she meets. Amruta loves listening to pop music and getting out and about in the fresh air. On doctor’s advice, she urgently requires a better wheelchair to prevent her scholiosis worsening. Due to Amruta’s complex medical needs she requires a customised seating system to meet all her needs, keep her comfortable and able to participate in the school environment. Due to the family’s current visa status Amruta is not eligible for funding through the National Disability Insurance Agency. The chair will cost in the order of $16,000 providing it is purchased before the end of financial year.
Nilesh and Adrian, I trust you enjoyed your evening with us.
Following up Rtn Jeremy’s advice, please invite a guest who has an interest in helping our community to come to next weeks meeting and listen to Bev Jackson speaking about the Smith Family.
Until May 6th have fun and be an inspiration to others.
President Colin.
If you were wondering where SK is – regretfully he has moved to Brisbane to work.
Thank you to those who provided feedback for the District Representative Nominating Committee for the Zone RI Director.
Thirteen members/partners joined the West Pennant Hills and Cherrybrook Lions Club to commemorate ANZAC. We listened to Vin Cosgrove (assisted by his wife Nancy) talk about his experiences in the Vietnam War and show some of his personal photos. Vin is an enlightening speaker who would make a good speaker for another combined club meeting.
The Rotary Club of Pennant Hills called a meeting of local Rotary clubs last week to discuss a “Rotary Opening” for North Conex sometime in 2020. Five Clubs attended and agreed to cooperate. Greg Keighran (Beecroft) is going to lead an organising committee consisting of a member from each club. It is expected that more clubs than the five will join. I will represent our club and we are meeting again on May 9 to flesh out a proposed program for discussion with North Conex and it’s stakeholders.
Rtn Jeremy was thanked for an inspirational insight to building club membership. Jeremy was presented with a cheque for $800 to go toward his Club’s Wheelchair for Amruta project. Amruta Bhanushali is almost 11 years old and attends the Hills School in Sydney. She was born with a number of chronic medical conditions that makes life more challenging for her but she makes the most of every day and brings smiles to the faces of all the people she meets. Amruta loves listening to pop music and getting out and about in the fresh air. On doctor’s advice, she urgently requires a better wheelchair to prevent her scholiosis worsening. Due to Amruta’s complex medical needs she requires a customised seating system to meet all her needs, keep her comfortable and able to participate in the school environment. Due to the family’s current visa status Amruta is not eligible for funding through the National Disability Insurance Agency. The chair will cost in the order of $16,000 providing it is purchased before the end of financial year.
Nilesh and Adrian, I trust you enjoyed your evening with us.
Following up Rtn Jeremy’s advice, please invite a guest who has an interest in helping our community to come to next weeks meeting and listen to Bev Jackson speaking about the Smith Family.
Until May 6th have fun and be an inspiration to others.
President Colin.
Night Report 29th April
Opening: Sgt Rosemary opened the meeting and welcomed our guest speaker Jeremy Carter, Nilesh Kapse, visiting us from the Third Rotary Club in Bangalore India, and Adrian Sonego attending as Keith’s guest.
President’s Report
President Colin Sharpe thanked all in attendance tonight. His full report is contained in this bulletin.
Director’s Reports
Keith (President Elect)
Keith discussed the President’s forum he attended recently on behalf of Colin on 27 April 2019 regarding ‘Redistricting’. Given declining membership and Rotary International’s ruling of a viable District sitting at 1,100 members, the likelihood is that Districts 9675 and 9685 (i.e. our District) may need to merge. This concept doesn’t just affect us, but all of Australia, with the possibility that Western Australia and South Australia each have only one District i.e. the entire state is the District. There is much discussion surrounding this concept at the moment and feedback from Club’s is still being taken. Keith and Colin will make these documents available to members who are encouraged to make comments if they wish.
Tony Coote (Membership and St Gabriel’s Project)
Tony advised that a Membership Committee meeting would take place at his place on 9 May 2019.
He also reported on the St Gabriel’s School project which will see our Club continue our connection with the school to assist in establishing a veggie and herb garden and provide associated building and grounds work. So far the following members have agreed to participate: David and Tony (project leads), Peter Stanton, Max, Alan, Tony Makin, Colin McGowen, Colin Sharp, Douglas, and Andrew. This work will start in the next few weeks.
David (Garage Sale)
David reported that the Garage Sale is scheduled for 12-13 October 2019 and planning is starting to go ahead now for the amended format that was agreed to following the 2018 Garage Sale. He will be looking to form a committee shortly.
Peter (International)
Peter advised that the trip to Timor Leste in November 2019 is in the final stages of planning, with several members looking to participate.
Max (Social)
Max reported on the upcoming Car Run to Mangrove Mountain. This is scheduled for Sunday 19 May 2019, leaving Glenorie Bakery (Old Northern Road) at 9.45am (please meet at 9am). Attendance sheets for this are on the tables and he encouraged members and their guests to attend.
John (Foundation)
John advised that five members of a total 39 have donated to Foundation this financial year. With only eight weeks to go until the end of financial year, he distributed Foundation forms and encouraged all members to consider making a donation to this very worthy cause.
Rotary Visitor
Nilesh Kapse visiting the Club tonight from the Third Rotary Club of Bangalore India, gave an impromptu talk about his Club and his time as a Rotarian. With an 84 year history and a membership of 256 it is the second largest club in India. It currently has about 55 projects running and its reach extends to include running three schools, eight childcare centres and a number of dialysis centres and healthcare facilities. They are also keen to work collaboratively on international projects. So great to hear from a club with lots of energy and vibrancy, and very timely given that the focus of our meeting tonight is membership.
Guest Speaker
Jim Simpson welcomed and introduced our guest speaker, Jeremy Carter, who is currently the President of the Norwest Sunrise Rotary Club. Jeremy led a very thought provoking session that saw us break into groups and discuss what drove each of us to join the Club, and further, to think about what each member could do to grow membership.
At the conclusion of the talk, President Colin presented Jeremy with a cheque for $800 on behalf of the Club to help support his Club’s Wheelchair for Amruta project.
Sergeant at Arm’s
Rosemary’s return to this role saw her clean up tonight with fines, especially with her Zipper Day fine!!
Heads & Tails won by: Daniel Tan
Raffle won by: Carol
Night Reporter
Janelle
President’s Report
President Colin Sharpe thanked all in attendance tonight. His full report is contained in this bulletin.
Director’s Reports
Keith (President Elect)
Keith discussed the President’s forum he attended recently on behalf of Colin on 27 April 2019 regarding ‘Redistricting’. Given declining membership and Rotary International’s ruling of a viable District sitting at 1,100 members, the likelihood is that Districts 9675 and 9685 (i.e. our District) may need to merge. This concept doesn’t just affect us, but all of Australia, with the possibility that Western Australia and South Australia each have only one District i.e. the entire state is the District. There is much discussion surrounding this concept at the moment and feedback from Club’s is still being taken. Keith and Colin will make these documents available to members who are encouraged to make comments if they wish.
Tony Coote (Membership and St Gabriel’s Project)
Tony advised that a Membership Committee meeting would take place at his place on 9 May 2019.
He also reported on the St Gabriel’s School project which will see our Club continue our connection with the school to assist in establishing a veggie and herb garden and provide associated building and grounds work. So far the following members have agreed to participate: David and Tony (project leads), Peter Stanton, Max, Alan, Tony Makin, Colin McGowen, Colin Sharp, Douglas, and Andrew. This work will start in the next few weeks.
David (Garage Sale)
David reported that the Garage Sale is scheduled for 12-13 October 2019 and planning is starting to go ahead now for the amended format that was agreed to following the 2018 Garage Sale. He will be looking to form a committee shortly.
Peter (International)
Peter advised that the trip to Timor Leste in November 2019 is in the final stages of planning, with several members looking to participate.
Max (Social)
Max reported on the upcoming Car Run to Mangrove Mountain. This is scheduled for Sunday 19 May 2019, leaving Glenorie Bakery (Old Northern Road) at 9.45am (please meet at 9am). Attendance sheets for this are on the tables and he encouraged members and their guests to attend.
John (Foundation)
John advised that five members of a total 39 have donated to Foundation this financial year. With only eight weeks to go until the end of financial year, he distributed Foundation forms and encouraged all members to consider making a donation to this very worthy cause.
Rotary Visitor
Nilesh Kapse visiting the Club tonight from the Third Rotary Club of Bangalore India, gave an impromptu talk about his Club and his time as a Rotarian. With an 84 year history and a membership of 256 it is the second largest club in India. It currently has about 55 projects running and its reach extends to include running three schools, eight childcare centres and a number of dialysis centres and healthcare facilities. They are also keen to work collaboratively on international projects. So great to hear from a club with lots of energy and vibrancy, and very timely given that the focus of our meeting tonight is membership.
Guest Speaker
Jim Simpson welcomed and introduced our guest speaker, Jeremy Carter, who is currently the President of the Norwest Sunrise Rotary Club. Jeremy led a very thought provoking session that saw us break into groups and discuss what drove each of us to join the Club, and further, to think about what each member could do to grow membership.
At the conclusion of the talk, President Colin presented Jeremy with a cheque for $800 on behalf of the Club to help support his Club’s Wheelchair for Amruta project.
Sergeant at Arm’s
Rosemary’s return to this role saw her clean up tonight with fines, especially with her Zipper Day fine!!
Heads & Tails won by: Daniel Tan
Raffle won by: Carol
Night Reporter
Janelle
Night Photos
Editor Note: Click on a photo to see a larger version.
This Week's Humour
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
_______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________ _
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_______________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Colin Mc
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
_______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________ _
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_______________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Colin Mc
A Timely Reminder for the 18th May
While walking down the street one day a Member of Parliament is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter.
'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'
'No problem, just let me in,' says the man.
'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.'
'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the MP.
'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he went down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he found himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and dressed in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They played a friendly game of golf and then dined on lobster, caviar and champagne
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it's time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and wave whilst the elevator rises....
The elevator rises and the door opens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
'Now it's time to visit heaven.
24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.'
The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.'
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
When the doors open he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. ‘I don't understand,' stammers the MP.
'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, danced and had a great time.
Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened? “
The devil looks at him, smiles and says,
'Yesterday we were campaigning - Today you voted’.
Jim S
While walking down the street one day a Member of Parliament is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter.
'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'
'No problem, just let me in,' says the man.
'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.'
'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the MP.
'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he went down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he found himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and dressed in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They played a friendly game of golf and then dined on lobster, caviar and champagne
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it's time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and wave whilst the elevator rises....
The elevator rises and the door opens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
'Now it's time to visit heaven.
24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.'
The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.'
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
When the doors open he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. ‘I don't understand,' stammers the MP.
'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, danced and had a great time.
Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened? “
The devil looks at him, smiles and says,
'Yesterday we were campaigning - Today you voted’.
Jim S
Joke Bank content is 5.
