Monday 6 February
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Club Assembly - Please see Rosemary's President's report below - Please attend the club assembly next week so that we can begin to work our way through some of these challenges. Being a member of The Rotary Club of West Pennant Hills and Cherrybrook will be in jeopardy if we can’t find a President elect!! Please consider it!
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Monday 13 February
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TBA
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Monday 20 February
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YOUTH NIGHT & Partners night!
Fabienne our ex exchange student coming to speak with 3 RYPEN candidates and Julian Swann. Also, Amelia Craig will be making a presentation on her stay in Switzerland. |
Duty Roster
Duty | Monday 6 February 2017 | Monday 13 February 2017 | Monday 20 February 2017 |
Speaker Host | - | Stan Baseley | Tony Coote |
Night Reporter | Colin McGowan | Cawas Suhkar | Teresa Janowski |
Front Desk | Bob Davison | Bob Davison | Bob Davison |
Front Desk | Bernard Chandra | David Turnbull | Colin Baxter |
Steward | Nick Chuah | Gino Savio | Tony Makin |
Steward | Brian Furrer | Carol Russell | John Tchetchenian |
IT Person | Andrew Little | Neville Hansen | Neville Hansen |
Photographer | Ross Ballinger | Peter Stanton | Ross Ballinger |
Member Talk | Tom Westcott | Howard Fleming | Stan Baseley |
Inside This Issue |
Upcoming Events |
Note: The above are "safe" links. They merely navigate within this page.
Club CalendarTake me to the Club Calendar
Note: This link goes to another page. At the bottom of that page is a link back to this page.
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Friday 10 February
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Youth Exchange Welcome Home Dinner.
Tony Coote, Janelle & Amelia Craig, Sarah and Paul Laroumanie are attending the Annual Welcome Home Youth Exchange Dinner for all our Returning and Inbound Students at the Muirfield Golf Club, Barclay Rd, North Rocks. |
District Conference
The District Conference will be held at the Penrith Panthers on Saturday 11th of March 2017.
Registrations at conferene2017.rotarydistrict9685.org.au
For a video on the District Conference at the Penrith Panthers click the video arrow below
Registrations at conferene2017.rotarydistrict9685.org.au
For a video on the District Conference at the Penrith Panthers click the video arrow below
Anna Laroumanie, our outbound student for 2017/18, is now in Hokkaido, Japan.
Anna sent some more photos of her & her surroundings at Eniwa, Hokkaido, Japan. It looks very cold, particularly with the built up snow drifts!
The current temperature (11am Thurs 2 Feb) in Eniwa is -11 deg C & it is snowing. It will warm up to -1 deg C on Saturday!
The current temperature (11am Thurs 2 Feb) in Eniwa is -11 deg C & it is snowing. It will warm up to -1 deg C on Saturday!
2017 Book Sale
The 2017 book sale is fast approaching and it is time to start preparing!
This year the book sale has been postponed by a couple of weeks from the usual timing in late March to Friday 7 (9am to 5pm), Saturday 8 (9am to 5pm) and Sunday 11 (11am to 2pm) of April. This is due to the fact that some of our key players will be overseas in February/March (namely me - Andrew) and April/May. In order to make it easier on our backs, knees, hips, etc, we are ditching the conventional fruit boxes (which are also extremely difficult to source) and are moving to the Lifeline size cardboard box which is about 2/3 the size of the fruit box and will hence will limit the total lifting weight to around 10kg. This is why Lifeline went to this style & size of box in order to comply with OH&S requirements for their ever aging members! These boxes come flat packed & are taped together as required. At the end of the book sale the tape will be cut & the box flat packed for storage. (See photo on right showing these boxes - note the 10Kg written on the side of the box in the foreground!). The Church has agreed to let us run the book sale on the Sunday from 11am to 2pm when we will start the usual pack up routine. This will provide an extra 3 hours on the Saturday and 3 hours on the Sunday, ie a total of 6 extra selling hours. The 2016 book sale raised around $14,000 and we are aiming to better this in 2017. To do this, we need help from ALL club members during the book sort days - Saturday 25 February Saturday 18 March Tuesday 4 April and during the sale itself from - Wednesday 5 to Sunday 9 April The milestone dates for this year's book sale are as follows: |
2017 Book Sale Committee Meetings | |
First Book Sale Committee Meeting | Thur 9 Feb 17 |
Second Book Sale Committee Meeting | Wed 1 Mar 17 |
Third Book Sale Committee Meeting | Wed 29 Mar 17 |
2017 Book Sale Schedule | |
Banners & Flyers out | Sat 25 Feb 17 |
First Major Sort | Sat 18 Mar 17 |
Second Major Sort | Sat 25 Mar 17 |
Third Major Sort & Set Up Table Layout | Tue 4 Apr 17 |
Continue to set up tables, boxes and signs | Wed 5 Apr 17 |
Fine Tune Layout, etc | Thur 6 Apr 17 |
Book Sale | Fri 7 Apr 17 |
Book Sale | Sat 8 Apr 17 |
Book Sale & Clean Up | Sun 9 Apr 17 |
Book Sale Dinner | Sun 9 Apr 17 |
Thank You Card From Operation Hope Team For Support For Carols In The Valley.
RYLA 2017 - this is an excerpt from the latest DG's E News & shows why we support RYLA
RYLA 2017 was run and won by 84 new RYLArians. The Organising Committee chaired by David Clark, supported the Facilitators lead by Amanda Firkins together with Mum & Dad (David and Dianne Waterhouse) arranged an excellent program that actively engaged and developed the attendees. The outdoor activities were challenging and the indoor speakers were compelling.
Well Done and Thank you to all who made it happen....and I hope that the experience convinces the new RYLArians to join Rotaract so they can continue to enjoy and enhance the Rotary experience.
Well Done and Thank you to all who made it happen....and I hope that the experience convinces the new RYLArians to join Rotaract so they can continue to enjoy and enhance the Rotary experience.
Jazz at the Pines
Jim received this email from Alan Jones on behalf of The Rotary Club of The Hills-Kellyville
Hi,
The next Jazz at the Pines is on Sunday 19th February and features the
popular 'Greg Poppleton and the Bakelite Broadcasters'.
A flyer is shown below with the complete list of dates through to May 2017,
a copy of the flyer is also attached should you wish distribute or print it.
Tables can be booked for groups and individuals or simply turn up un the day
with your chair, picnic rug and eskie, there is plenty of room for everyone.
All payments are made at the gate, $20 Adults and $15 Concessions.
Tea, coffee and fresh baked cakes available.
For more information and to book online visit www.jazzatthepines.org.au
The next Jazz at the Pines is on Sunday 19th February and features the
popular 'Greg Poppleton and the Bakelite Broadcasters'.
A flyer is shown below with the complete list of dates through to May 2017,
a copy of the flyer is also attached should you wish distribute or print it.
Tables can be booked for groups and individuals or simply turn up un the day
with your chair, picnic rug and eskie, there is plenty of room for everyone.
All payments are made at the gate, $20 Adults and $15 Concessions.
Tea, coffee and fresh baked cakes available.
For more information and to book online visit www.jazzatthepines.org.au
More Rotary GraphicsSome more Rotary graphics. These images can be downloaded by right clicking and saving.
|
Significant Club fundraising events during the year

The Book Sale March 2016. As the result of a lot of hard work the March book fair which was a great success, especially from the organisers Max Henderson, Andrew Little and Clive Denmark. Funds raised were $14,000. Well done.

The Trivia Night
The Club held a very successful trivia night on Saturday 27 August 2016 at the Cherrybrook Community Centre, raising just over $5,000 towards the charities we support.
The Club held a very successful trivia night on Saturday 27 August 2016 at the Cherrybrook Community Centre, raising just over $5,000 towards the charities we support.

The Garage Sale
We have just had a very successful Garage Sale on the weekend of 8/9 October raising a record gross of over $30k. The combination of good planning and benign weather contributed to this result.
We have just had a very successful Garage Sale on the weekend of 8/9 October raising a record gross of over $30k. The combination of good planning and benign weather contributed to this result.

Barbecues
The club runs fund raising barbecues throughout the year, mainly at Bunnings (both Dural and Thornleigh) Here are Barry, Tony, Nick and David hard at work. at Thornleigh..
The club runs fund raising barbecues throughout the year, mainly at Bunnings (both Dural and Thornleigh) Here are Barry, Tony, Nick and David hard at work. at Thornleigh..
Meetings
:Monday 6:30pm for 7:00pm - Springfield House - 245 New Line Road, Dural.
Apologies
If you are unable to attend or are bringing a guest (even if they are your partner) you must notify Jilda. Phone 9439 1422 or email [email protected] before 11am on the day of the meeting.
If you are expected and do not show you may be required to pay for the meal.
President's Report 30th January 2017
From President Rosemary Clarke.
Last night the attention of our members was held by an amazing lady – Paula Howard. She informed us of a program called Foster Care Angels, a not for profit organisation run by volunteers who care for foster children in many different and sometimes harrowing circumstances. We need to get involved.
We have crossed the 6 month mark in out Rotary year but we cannot be complacent. We have the Book Sale, Conference, District Assembly, 30th birthday, a President elect to find and more members to encourage let alone our normal activities and meetings. Plus we need to choose a major project.
Please attend the club assembly next week so that we can begin to work our way through some of these challenges. Being a member of The Rotary Club of West Pennant Hills and Cherrybrook will be in jeopardy if we can’t find a President elect!! Please consider it!
Regards
Rosemary
Last night the attention of our members was held by an amazing lady – Paula Howard. She informed us of a program called Foster Care Angels, a not for profit organisation run by volunteers who care for foster children in many different and sometimes harrowing circumstances. We need to get involved.
We have crossed the 6 month mark in out Rotary year but we cannot be complacent. We have the Book Sale, Conference, District Assembly, 30th birthday, a President elect to find and more members to encourage let alone our normal activities and meetings. Plus we need to choose a major project.
Please attend the club assembly next week so that we can begin to work our way through some of these challenges. Being a member of The Rotary Club of West Pennant Hills and Cherrybrook will be in jeopardy if we can’t find a President elect!! Please consider it!
Regards
Rosemary
Night Report 30th January 2017
Pres Rosemary was introduced by Sargent Charlie and introduced our guest speaker Paula Hammond from Foster Care Angles.
Ian reported on our $685 profit from Bunnings BBQ, it was a steady day winding up at 2pm. One wrinkle is that Bunnings now require us to count the takings before we leave the site.
Tony reminded us of a big Youth night on 20th, Fabienne our ex exchange student coming to speak with 3 RYPEN candidates and Julian.
Colin S on Social- need to do more work on the Lovedale long lunch, a winter trip to the Blue Mts, and the 30th b’day meeting to be refined for board presentations.
Sarah’s week- she visited Jervis Bay staying at Huskison, Fitzroy National Park, and in the city the Museum of Contempary Art and back to school today. Her NYE adventure up at 5am to get to the Opera House by 6am to get a good spot to view the fireworks, definitely worth it 18hours wait for 20 mins of fireworks!
Rosemary’s Member Talk
Born England – lived on 7 acres with goats, pigs, chickens etc.
Youngest of 4 children - siblings
Trip out in 1958 on Arcadia through Suez Canal - dad offered a job with CSIRO
Lived in Griffith primary and high school – 2nd largest in NSW at the time 1600 prefect – athletics represented district 5 years in a row at CHSS- basketball – choir – singing- musicals
Teachers College in Armidale for 2 years
Beckom, Coolamon then overseas for 10months Contiki etc
Started teaching at Roselea PS while there joined Rotaract met Rob both presidents
Married in Griffith in Jan 1977
Rob won rotary Foundation Scholarship so to USA for 10 months in 1978
Coming home took 4 months through Europe
Settled in West Pennant Hills have 2 children
Andrew and Michelle both married with one child each
Back to casual teaching for 6 years as a glut of teachers -taught at many local schools
Permanent position at Mt Druitt in 1994
Forced transfer to Marayong in 1997. Will be there 20 years next year
Reading Recovery teacher for 9 years in 2 blocks
Community involvement –Nursing Mothers, WPH school, cubs
Joined Rotary 6 years ago – had positions of vocational, youth x 2, membership, club.
Interests – travelling, reading, gardening, family, socialising with friends and my husband of course
Colin S then introduced our guest speaker Paula.
Paula spoke on the situation of foster kids in NSW and Australia and the difficult and trying circumstances the kids are put through by “the system” and the work her voluntary group ‘Foster Care Angles’ does to make the kids life more bearable.
Kids from birth to 18yo may be moved from one foster family to another up to 8 times before they are permanently settled, they may arrive at a foster family at any time day or night in just the cloths they stand up in.
Foster Care Angles aim to give them some dignity by providing a basic care package or their own bedding so if they are moved on they have something that is theirs.
Currently they are giving out 1200 care packages per year.
Another focus or hers is to purchase an on site van down the south coast to be available to foster famalies to give them some respite from the daily grind. The carers are in need as well.
This was a heart rending presentation on the woeful situation in NSW regarding our youth 46000 across Australia living in foster care.
Paula also shared her experiences as a foster child, and now she has a daughter of her own and two foster daughters. She would adopt these kids but for the system which makes this a min 2 year process an impossible task.
Below an extract from their website
Foster Care Angels Charity Mission.
Paula Hammond Vice President
Mission to help to empower children living in crisis, often lacking self-worth or struggling to make sense of the world by supporting positive placements across New South Wales.
• NSW has over 20,000 children in Foster Care
• Care Packages - $30 – backpack with essential toiletries, school supplies, toys, books & comfort item
• Computers/school software/ 2 years support - $380
• Bed in Bag Pack $ 120 Fitted sheet, pillow & pillow case, towel and face washer, Quilt & Cover.
• Special Support Program for disadvantaged children
• Respite services for foster carers - $180 for a weekend away
Foster Care Angels works with a number of agencies in the Sydney area, including: Wesley Dalmar, Star Foster Care, Mackillop Family Services and Life Without Barriers. This list is growing all the time as we receive more funding
WE DON’T REALISE HOW WELL OFF WE ARE !!!!
Charlie ran a spirited fines session and we closed with Gino leading the National Anthem.
Night Reporter - Peter Cleary
Ian reported on our $685 profit from Bunnings BBQ, it was a steady day winding up at 2pm. One wrinkle is that Bunnings now require us to count the takings before we leave the site.
Tony reminded us of a big Youth night on 20th, Fabienne our ex exchange student coming to speak with 3 RYPEN candidates and Julian.
Colin S on Social- need to do more work on the Lovedale long lunch, a winter trip to the Blue Mts, and the 30th b’day meeting to be refined for board presentations.
Sarah’s week- she visited Jervis Bay staying at Huskison, Fitzroy National Park, and in the city the Museum of Contempary Art and back to school today. Her NYE adventure up at 5am to get to the Opera House by 6am to get a good spot to view the fireworks, definitely worth it 18hours wait for 20 mins of fireworks!
Rosemary’s Member Talk
Born England – lived on 7 acres with goats, pigs, chickens etc.
Youngest of 4 children - siblings
Trip out in 1958 on Arcadia through Suez Canal - dad offered a job with CSIRO
Lived in Griffith primary and high school – 2nd largest in NSW at the time 1600 prefect – athletics represented district 5 years in a row at CHSS- basketball – choir – singing- musicals
Teachers College in Armidale for 2 years
Beckom, Coolamon then overseas for 10months Contiki etc
Started teaching at Roselea PS while there joined Rotaract met Rob both presidents
Married in Griffith in Jan 1977
Rob won rotary Foundation Scholarship so to USA for 10 months in 1978
Coming home took 4 months through Europe
Settled in West Pennant Hills have 2 children
Andrew and Michelle both married with one child each
Back to casual teaching for 6 years as a glut of teachers -taught at many local schools
Permanent position at Mt Druitt in 1994
Forced transfer to Marayong in 1997. Will be there 20 years next year
Reading Recovery teacher for 9 years in 2 blocks
Community involvement –Nursing Mothers, WPH school, cubs
Joined Rotary 6 years ago – had positions of vocational, youth x 2, membership, club.
Interests – travelling, reading, gardening, family, socialising with friends and my husband of course
Colin S then introduced our guest speaker Paula.
Paula spoke on the situation of foster kids in NSW and Australia and the difficult and trying circumstances the kids are put through by “the system” and the work her voluntary group ‘Foster Care Angles’ does to make the kids life more bearable.
Kids from birth to 18yo may be moved from one foster family to another up to 8 times before they are permanently settled, they may arrive at a foster family at any time day or night in just the cloths they stand up in.
Foster Care Angles aim to give them some dignity by providing a basic care package or their own bedding so if they are moved on they have something that is theirs.
Currently they are giving out 1200 care packages per year.
Another focus or hers is to purchase an on site van down the south coast to be available to foster famalies to give them some respite from the daily grind. The carers are in need as well.
This was a heart rending presentation on the woeful situation in NSW regarding our youth 46000 across Australia living in foster care.
Paula also shared her experiences as a foster child, and now she has a daughter of her own and two foster daughters. She would adopt these kids but for the system which makes this a min 2 year process an impossible task.
Below an extract from their website
Foster Care Angels Charity Mission.
Paula Hammond Vice President
Mission to help to empower children living in crisis, often lacking self-worth or struggling to make sense of the world by supporting positive placements across New South Wales.
• NSW has over 20,000 children in Foster Care
• Care Packages - $30 – backpack with essential toiletries, school supplies, toys, books & comfort item
• Computers/school software/ 2 years support - $380
• Bed in Bag Pack $ 120 Fitted sheet, pillow & pillow case, towel and face washer, Quilt & Cover.
• Special Support Program for disadvantaged children
• Respite services for foster carers - $180 for a weekend away
Foster Care Angels works with a number of agencies in the Sydney area, including: Wesley Dalmar, Star Foster Care, Mackillop Family Services and Life Without Barriers. This list is growing all the time as we receive more funding
WE DON’T REALISE HOW WELL OFF WE ARE !!!!
Charlie ran a spirited fines session and we closed with Gino leading the National Anthem.
Night Reporter - Peter Cleary
Night Photos - Peter Stanton
Editor: Click on any photo to see a larger display
Birthdays
Anniversaries
This Week's Humour
Jokes that can be told in church.... (From Stan)
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school
after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.
One said to the other, 'What do you think about
this Satan stuff?'
The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how
Santa Claus turned out.
It's probably just your Dad..'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl
whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?''
The mother replied, 'Because white is the color
of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.'
The child thought about this for a moment then said,
'So why is the groom wearing black?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about
their fathers.
The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words
on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.'
The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad
scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.'
The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad
scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon,
and it takes eight people to collect all the money!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly woman died last month.
Having never married, she requested no male
pallbearers.
In her handwritten instructions for her memorial
service, she wrote,
'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive,
I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A police recruit was asked during the exam,
'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?'
He answered, 'Call for backup.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why
Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem..
A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments
with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy
father and thy mother,' she asked,
'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to
treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered,
'Thou shall not kill..'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
At Sunday School they were teaching how God
created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they
told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying
down as though he were ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?'
Little Johnny responded, 'I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school
after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.
One said to the other, 'What do you think about
this Satan stuff?'
The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how
Santa Claus turned out.
It's probably just your Dad..'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl
whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?''
The mother replied, 'Because white is the color
of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.'
The child thought about this for a moment then said,
'So why is the groom wearing black?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about
their fathers.
The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words
on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.'
The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad
scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.'
The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad
scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon,
and it takes eight people to collect all the money!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly woman died last month.
Having never married, she requested no male
pallbearers.
In her handwritten instructions for her memorial
service, she wrote,
'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive,
I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A police recruit was asked during the exam,
'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?'
He answered, 'Call for backup.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why
Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem..
A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments
with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'Honor thy
father and thy mother,' she asked,
'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to
treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered,
'Thou shall not kill..'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
At Sunday School they were teaching how God
created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they
told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying
down as though he were ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?'
Little Johnny responded, 'I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did I read that sign right? (from Desley)
“TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE
ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER
YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS
WILL BE TAKEN.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT
AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC.
WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spotted in a safari park:
(I sure hope so.)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T
KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE
FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL
YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON
THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife
And Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room
and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized
what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya' think?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Police Begin Campaign to
Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian
Takes Over
What a guy!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works better than a fair trial!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly,
It May Last Awhile
Ya' think?!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain;
Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man Struck By Lightning:
Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
New Study of Obesity Looks for
Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Astronaut Takes Blame for
Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
********************************************************************************
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
**********************************************************************************************
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
***********************************************************************************************
And the winner is...
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery;
Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
*********************************************************************************************
“TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE
ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER
YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS
WILL BE TAKEN.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT
AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC.
WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spotted in a safari park:
(I sure hope so.)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T
KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE
FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL
YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON
THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife
And Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room
and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized
what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya' think?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Police Begin Campaign to
Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian
Takes Over
What a guy!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works better than a fair trial!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly,
It May Last Awhile
Ya' think?!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain;
Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
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Man Struck By Lightning:
Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
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New Study of Obesity Looks for
Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
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Astronaut Takes Blame for
Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
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Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
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Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
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Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
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And the winner is...
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery;
Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
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Club Calendar
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If you wish to see a PDF of version of the Calendar then click here.
If you wish to see a PDF of version of the Calendar then click here.
Bulletin Editor - Andrew Little