Club Bulletin
Volume 31, Issue No. 26- 29th January 2018
The Next Meetings |
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Hornsby Shire Council - Mayor Philip Ruddock
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Dr Don Dingsdag - Chair of Cardiac Arrest Survival Foundation
(potential Next Big Thing project) |
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Inside This Issue |
Upcoming Events |
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3&4 February
4th February
10th February
17th February
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Weekend Away
Bunnings BBQ - Thornleigh
Cemetery Project - Uniting Church
Book Sale - First Major Book sort
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Note: This link goes to another page. At the bottom of that page is a link back to this page.
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Parents Nicole and Simon plus siblings Rebecca and William
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Mikaela
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If you know of someone who would benefit from Rotary, or, from whom Rotary would benefit if they were a member, then contact Keith.
Click here for a PDF copy of the form to the right, and send or give it to Keith.
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Mayor Dr Michelle Byrne of Hills Shire Council was welcomed as our guest speaker tonight. Other guests were: Rashna, Jaswant Thakorlal (who has now been invited to become a member), Kerry and Bill Mann (welcome back for a second meeting).
Larissa is now settled in as the new daughter of the Tchetchenian family and has started on her journey to broaden her culinary experiences. Thai yesterday I noticed on Facebook. Mikaela Love was farewelled to start her year in Denmark by her family, Rosemary, Jill and the Sharpe’s. A large contingent of exchange students, chaperones, Rotary’s Exchange alumni, parents and well-wishers from around NSW assembled at the Singapore Airlines check-in for the event. Rotarians Andrew and Tony report that they are recuperating well after their surgery. It is pleasing to see Rotarian Janelle back with us after her short absence and working hard for the club. Please support her at the Feb 4th BBQ and let her know if you are available. Anne and I will be helping. Club Business.
Larissa’s word for this is week is togs (swimsuit)
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Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!'
Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.' |
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Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'
The man said, 'I do, Father.' The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.' Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' 'Certainly, Father,' the man replied. 'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the priest. Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and asked, 'Do you want to go to heaven?' O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father.' The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?' O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.' |
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Paddy was in New York
He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, 'Okay, pedestrians.' Then he'd allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk. After the cop had shouted, 'Pedestrians!' for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?' |
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Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.
'Did you see the paper?' asked Gallagher. 'They say I died!!' 'Yes, I saw it!' replied Finney. 'Where are ye callin' from?' |
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An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?' 'Just water,' says the priest. The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?' The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!' |
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Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.'
'Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?' 'When it was over,' Mike replied, 'She came to me on her hands and knees.' 'Really,' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch! What did she say?' She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.' |
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Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed. In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room. She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?' Patton said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?' 'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ..... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror. |
