The Next Meetings |
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Monday 23rd October
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Antarctica - Howard Fleming
Partners Night
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Monday 30th OctoberSt Gabriel's School, Castle Hill
Dianne Hooke and Brendan Jones |
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Monday 6th November
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Melbourne Cup Night
Partners Night
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Duty Roster
If you are unable to be at the meeting please contact the person doing your role the following week/s, arrange a swap and advise Max, so he can amend his records.
Inside This Issue |
Upcoming Events |
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Note: The above are "safe" links. They merely navigate within this page.
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30th October
6th November
21st November - its a Tuesday
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BBQ at ARV - 12 noon to 2pm
Melbourne Cup Night
Vocational Visit Baulkham Hills TAFE @ 6:15pm
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Club Calendar
Take me to the Club Calendar
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Note: This link goes to another page. At the bottom of that page is a link back to this page.
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Bunnings BBQ Update |
Note the December vacancies |
22nd October Bunning Dural
2nd December Bunning Dural
- Morning - Tony, David, Teresa and Angelo
- Swing - Bob
- Afternoon - Janelle, Colin McG, Keith and Andrew
2nd December Bunning Dural
- Morning - Tony, Linda, Joseph and Max
- Swing - 1 Vacancy
- Afternoon - Peter and 3 Vacancies
Rotary dinner in Eniwa, Japan
Hi,
We feel that we have been received like royalty by the Eniwa Rotary club. There were many members waiting for us at the airport yesterday. Later they took us for a Japanese BBQ at the Sapporo brewery. Tonight was the Rotary dinner, the food is fantastic. Our hosts enjoyed the lamingtons, Tim Tams and the red wine.
We met all the host families that Anna went to. Her command of Japanese blew us away.
Thank you very much, without your support it would not have been possible.
Kind Regards,
Paul
We feel that we have been received like royalty by the Eniwa Rotary club. There were many members waiting for us at the airport yesterday. Later they took us for a Japanese BBQ at the Sapporo brewery. Tonight was the Rotary dinner, the food is fantastic. Our hosts enjoyed the lamingtons, Tim Tams and the red wine.
We met all the host families that Anna went to. Her command of Japanese blew us away.
Thank you very much, without your support it would not have been possible.
Kind Regards,
Paul
Fabienne's Graduation
Fabienne recently graduated as a lawyer and she is now doing a years internship.
Courtesy of Rosemary |
Editors Note: Fabienne spent Rotary Year 2009/10 with us as an exchange student. She is from Switzerland.
"The Wizard of Oz" by SYMT
"Lightbox" is "On"
“The Wizard of Oz” presented by SYMT (Sydney Youth Musical Theatre) at Hornsby RLS Club, Friday 24th November.
Last November we had about 20 attend “Beauty and the Beast” with the vast majority having dinner in the club’s bistro and we’re proposing a similar approach this year.
(SYMT has two age limits for their shows being 18 for the November show and 25 for the July show which we have been supporting for about four years)
With the show at 7.30 say 6.00 for dinner to secure seating.
If you would like to attend please transfer $37.00 for the show or alternatively $32.00 for a senior to our club’s General Account and Identify your payment with your surname and SYMT.
As we need to be reasonably quick to secure good seats we have set a closing date of Friday 27th October.
Rather than have separate attendance sheets on each table we will have one (on clipboard) on the “front desk” for the next few weeks.
Regards Max
Last November we had about 20 attend “Beauty and the Beast” with the vast majority having dinner in the club’s bistro and we’re proposing a similar approach this year.
(SYMT has two age limits for their shows being 18 for the November show and 25 for the July show which we have been supporting for about four years)
With the show at 7.30 say 6.00 for dinner to secure seating.
If you would like to attend please transfer $37.00 for the show or alternatively $32.00 for a senior to our club’s General Account and Identify your payment with your surname and SYMT.
As we need to be reasonably quick to secure good seats we have set a closing date of Friday 27th October.
Rather than have separate attendance sheets on each table we will have one (on clipboard) on the “front desk” for the next few weeks.
Regards Max
Tree of Joy - Why not get involved
Fellow Rotarians and Partners
I am delighted to inform you that the Cherrybrook Centre Management has decided to go ahead with the Tree of Joy despite renovations.
The response from the community is fantastic. Last year we collected in excess of 1000 gifts at an average value of $50/- per gift this is by far one of the biggest fund raiser and community service project undertaken by the club without any significant expense.
Currently we support Anglicare, Burnside Uniting Church, Wesley Mission, Camp Quality, Marayong Primary School, Meals on Wheels, Parramatta Mission, Shine for Kids and Taldumande to name a few. This year we are looking at further expanding our charities and assisting the less fortunate people to celebrate Christmas.
The way the Tree of Joy is run a committee of club Rotarians meet and identify a charity and a nominated Rotarian becomes the sole contact with that charity. If you are passionate about a charity that you would like to support then we would love to have you on the committee, partners too are most welcome.
In case you are interested and would like more details please contact me at the earliest as we are planning to have our first meeting early this month.
If you are seriously wanting to make a difference, help those who are less fortunate and believe in service above self then be a part of the Tree that continues to spread Joy in and outside our community.
Cawas
I am delighted to inform you that the Cherrybrook Centre Management has decided to go ahead with the Tree of Joy despite renovations.
The response from the community is fantastic. Last year we collected in excess of 1000 gifts at an average value of $50/- per gift this is by far one of the biggest fund raiser and community service project undertaken by the club without any significant expense.
Currently we support Anglicare, Burnside Uniting Church, Wesley Mission, Camp Quality, Marayong Primary School, Meals on Wheels, Parramatta Mission, Shine for Kids and Taldumande to name a few. This year we are looking at further expanding our charities and assisting the less fortunate people to celebrate Christmas.
The way the Tree of Joy is run a committee of club Rotarians meet and identify a charity and a nominated Rotarian becomes the sole contact with that charity. If you are passionate about a charity that you would like to support then we would love to have you on the committee, partners too are most welcome.
In case you are interested and would like more details please contact me at the earliest as we are planning to have our first meeting early this month.
If you are seriously wanting to make a difference, help those who are less fortunate and believe in service above self then be a part of the Tree that continues to spread Joy in and outside our community.
Cawas
Top Five Reasons to End Trachoma
Top 5 Reasons to support EndTrachoma by 2020
Clubs around Australia support many worthwhile charities and projects. But EndTrachoma by 2020 is something particularly special for Rotary Australia.
Learn More >>
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Close the page and come back to here.
October is Rotary Foundation Month
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The Rotary Foundation transforms your gifts into service projects that change lives both close to home and
around the world. |
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During the past 100 years, the Foundation has spent $3 billion on life-changing, sustainable projects.
With your help, we can make lives better in your community and around the world. Why should I donate to The Rotary Foundation?
Your donation makes a difference to those who need our help most. More than 90 percent of donations go directly to supporting our service projects around the world. How does The Rotary Foundation use donations? Our 35,000 clubs carry out sustainable service projects that support our six causes. With donations like yours, we’ve wiped out 99.9 percent of all polio cases. Your donation also trains future peacemakers, supports clean water, and strengthens local economies. What impact can one donation have? It can save a life. A child can be protected from polio with as little as 60 cents. Our partners make your donation go even further. For every $1 Rotary commits to polio eradication, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation has committed $2. |
EXPLORE OUR CAUSES
Note: Clicking on each photo will link to a new website each in a new window. Closing these windows will allow a return to this site.
Wanted - New Members
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We are experiencing another drought with respect to prospective new members.
If you know of someone who would benefit from Rotary, or, from whom Rotary would benefit if they were a member, then contact Keith. Click here for a PDF copy of the form to the right, and send or give it to Keith.
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Significant Club fundraising events during the year
The Book Sale March 2017. As the result of a lot of hard work the April Book Sale was a great success, especially from the organisers Max Henderson, Andrew Little and Clive Denmark. Funds raised were circa $13,000. Well done.
2017 Trivia Night
The Club held a very successful trivia night on Saturday 26 August 20167at the Cherrybrook Community Centre, raising just over $5,000 towards the charities we support.
The Club held a very successful trivia night on Saturday 26 August 20167at the Cherrybrook Community Centre, raising just over $5,000 towards the charities we support.
The Garage Sale
We have just had our best and most successful Garage Sale on the weekend of 7&8 October raising a record gross - north of $35k.
Excellent Project Management and a large number of dedicated volunteers, some putting in hours of effort, in the weeks before the weekend contributed to this result.
We have just had our best and most successful Garage Sale on the weekend of 7&8 October raising a record gross - north of $35k.
Excellent Project Management and a large number of dedicated volunteers, some putting in hours of effort, in the weeks before the weekend contributed to this result.
Barbecues
The club runs fund raising barbecues throughout the year, mainly at Bunnings (both Dural and Thornleigh) Here are Barry, Tony, Nick and David hard at work. at Thornleigh..
The club runs fund raising barbecues throughout the year, mainly at Bunnings (both Dural and Thornleigh) Here are Barry, Tony, Nick and David hard at work. at Thornleigh..
Meetings
Monday 6:30pm for 7:00pm - Springfield House - 245 New Line Road, Dural 2158
Apologies
If you are unable to attend or are bringing a guest (even if they are your partner) you must notify Jilda.
Phone 8484 7106 or email [email protected] before 11am on the day of the meeting.
Phone 8484 7106 or email [email protected] before 11am on the day of the meeting.
If you are expected and do not show you will be required to pay for the meal.
President's Report - 16th October
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President Colin welcomed District Governor Peter Ward and partner Anne and Assistant District Governor John Fenessy, fellow Rotarians and partners (Anne) and guests (Harry Zheng & parents Jing Li and Peter; and Maria Hinton). Harry informed the Club about his impending trip to the USA to participate in the international MUNA. It was pleasing to see 41 people present at this important meeting that showcases the club to the District Governor.
Business Items I congratulate the club on a hugely successful Garage Sale and would like to sincerely thank the many people and organisations who made it possible. o Neville for the huge amount of work he put into co-ordinating the garage sale over more than 3 months preceding, during and after the sale. His committee (Andrew, David/Jill, Tom, Colin/Anne, Joseph, Rosemary, and Tony Coote) who also put is a lot of work for many weeks before the sale. o Glenda who with her team of helpers spent many hours setting up the Guide Hall with the Bric-a-Brac and that included washing many of the donated items. Feedback from Glenda and Tony’s friend (Andreas) who helped with pick-ups and manning the Hall door is typical of that I have heard from other non-Rotarian helpers: Great result for bric-a-brac and overall. Shows you that your efforts pay off. I really enjoyed working with you and getting to know some of your friends. The Garage Sale on Saturday was good fun and I still can’t believe the madness in the morning. Happy to help out next year in October if needed. Thanks for sharing the club bulletin. Great pictures and summary. BTW … the club’s website is fantastic! User-friendly, not overloaded and looks very professional. |
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o Jill (clothes) Heather (Toys) Janelle (Baby Clothes), Anne (Manchester), Colin (Tools) Joseph (music), Rashna (cakes). These people and their families gave up space in their home to sort/store/repair/produce donations.
o Lynne, Anne, Carol, Ros & Sandy who grew/acquired a huge number of plants. The left overs are either stored at Sandy’s for next year or planted in the Rotary Garden at the Fire Station – thanks to Anne.
o Rashna and the cake making team for a vast array of cakes.
o Jill, the clothing team and other helpers who sorted and hung the many clothes on racks in the Turnbull Garage.
o The stall leaders who extracted so much value from the donations.
o Peter and Keith for making significant on-line sales of our better donations.
o The members who provided cars/tailers for pick-up and delivery.
o Thank you to Tom for lending his staff (Ben & Josh) to put up and take down the Fire Station Awning, and with the help of his truck with moving donations from storage homes to the site on Friday. For arranging the loan of fencing, and tables from ESI. Also for organising the Coffee machine and the delightful barista. And John for being the barista’s attendant and paying her wages.
o Barry for contributing the raffle prizes that were so successful in obtaining phone numbers from our customers and finding out how they heard about the sale. This information will allow refinement of our marketing next year.
o Douglas, Kaija and the BBQ Team for feeding the troops.
o Tony for keeping track of our stall floats, income and expenditure and losing track of a dollar.
o The sponsors and businesses who donated site equipment and supplies. Century 21, Hills Storage, Bendigo Bank, Yellow Brick Road, Altitude Finance, Marayong School, Event Services International.
o The members who donated funds to support the running of the sale.
o The Wesley Mission and the Salvation Army who took the left over saleable goods which meant we had minimal to dump.
o The Rural Fire Service for the use of their building and surrounds. And the Girl Guides for their Hall.
o The numerous other club members, partners and friends who contributed so much before during and after the sale toward a fantastic effort to bring about our best ever Garage Sale. Nearly $37,500 gross.
o Finally the ~1200 people from our community who came and purchased.
o If I have left anyone out I apologise.
· Tree of Joy Team are busy working toward another successful year of brining Joy to those less privileged than ourselves.
· Douglas is coordinating the BBQ assistance for Wesley Mission at their Carols in the Valley on Saturday Dec 16th
The President presented Certificates of Appreciation to:
· Neville for coordinating the Garage Sale
· Andrew and Max for coordinating the Trivia night.
President Colin gave a short presentation about the achievements of the Club – a copy is available on request. District Governor Peter shared his observations about our achievements and answered questions. See the night report for a full report.
Next week Charlie will be standing in for me and it is a very special night for her. It is a Partners Night and Howard will tell about his trip to Antarctica. Charlie is also representing the Club at the Zone/Cluster meeting on Oct 25th.
The Club is hosting an Anglicare BBQ in conjunction with the Mirvac Retail Team from Cherrybrook Shopping Centre on Monday Oct 30th.
President Colin
o Lynne, Anne, Carol, Ros & Sandy who grew/acquired a huge number of plants. The left overs are either stored at Sandy’s for next year or planted in the Rotary Garden at the Fire Station – thanks to Anne.
o Rashna and the cake making team for a vast array of cakes.
o Jill, the clothing team and other helpers who sorted and hung the many clothes on racks in the Turnbull Garage.
o The stall leaders who extracted so much value from the donations.
o Peter and Keith for making significant on-line sales of our better donations.
o The members who provided cars/tailers for pick-up and delivery.
o Thank you to Tom for lending his staff (Ben & Josh) to put up and take down the Fire Station Awning, and with the help of his truck with moving donations from storage homes to the site on Friday. For arranging the loan of fencing, and tables from ESI. Also for organising the Coffee machine and the delightful barista. And John for being the barista’s attendant and paying her wages.
o Barry for contributing the raffle prizes that were so successful in obtaining phone numbers from our customers and finding out how they heard about the sale. This information will allow refinement of our marketing next year.
o Douglas, Kaija and the BBQ Team for feeding the troops.
o Tony for keeping track of our stall floats, income and expenditure and losing track of a dollar.
o The sponsors and businesses who donated site equipment and supplies. Century 21, Hills Storage, Bendigo Bank, Yellow Brick Road, Altitude Finance, Marayong School, Event Services International.
o The members who donated funds to support the running of the sale.
o The Wesley Mission and the Salvation Army who took the left over saleable goods which meant we had minimal to dump.
o The Rural Fire Service for the use of their building and surrounds. And the Girl Guides for their Hall.
o The numerous other club members, partners and friends who contributed so much before during and after the sale toward a fantastic effort to bring about our best ever Garage Sale. Nearly $37,500 gross.
o Finally the ~1200 people from our community who came and purchased.
o If I have left anyone out I apologise.
· Tree of Joy Team are busy working toward another successful year of brining Joy to those less privileged than ourselves.
· Douglas is coordinating the BBQ assistance for Wesley Mission at their Carols in the Valley on Saturday Dec 16th
The President presented Certificates of Appreciation to:
· Neville for coordinating the Garage Sale
· Andrew and Max for coordinating the Trivia night.
President Colin gave a short presentation about the achievements of the Club – a copy is available on request. District Governor Peter shared his observations about our achievements and answered questions. See the night report for a full report.
Next week Charlie will be standing in for me and it is a very special night for her. It is a Partners Night and Howard will tell about his trip to Antarctica. Charlie is also representing the Club at the Zone/Cluster meeting on Oct 25th.
The Club is hosting an Anglicare BBQ in conjunction with the Mirvac Retail Team from Cherrybrook Shopping Centre on Monday Oct 30th.
President Colin
Night Report
The meeting was opened and we toasted to the success of the 2017 Garage Sale.
President Colin presented a Certificate of Appreciation to Neville H. for his stellar efforts in co-ordinating this year’s Garage Sale.
President Colin also commended Max H. and Andrew L. for their efforts in organising the recent Trivia Night and they too were presented with a Certificate of Recognition.
Directors Reports
Rosemary – Youth
The Club has been asked to consider hosting a Brazilian exchange student (Larissa) who is scheduled to arrive in Jan next year. Larissa is allergic to cats so this discounted some club members however Linda B and Rob T expressed interest. Rosemary will follow up with Pam Bennett.
Keith – Membership
There are two potential new members – Maria and Angela – but Keith still needs more candidates in the pipeline. Jey was impressed by the Club at the Garage Sale wants to get involved. Work commitments (2yrs FT in Canberra) may restrict that involvement to being an active weekend FOR.
Tony – Treasurer
There are three possible projects under consideration for the Next Big Thing:
1. Funding a new playground at St Gabriel’s School in tandem with Glenhaven Rotary Club
2. Involvement in a new project at District level
3. Bidjugal Reserve trail signage and upgraded picnic areas
Max H – Club Services
Max asked, on behalf of Janelle, for assistance with the upcoming Bunnings BBQ. All timeslots were subsequently filled.
The first round of Friendship dinners will occur in November with the second round happening in March – stay tuned. Max also reminded everyone about the opportunity to attend SMYT production of “Wizard of Oz”, with dinner in the Bistro at 6pm and the show to commence at 7.30pm
Neville H – Garage Sale
Neville reiterated the great results from this year’s Garage Sale – the “best ever” with revenues up 8% over last year with approximately the same number of visitors. He passed on his thanks to everyone involved. Frank from Springfield House apologised for missing the event!
Rosemary – MUNA Challenge
Rosemary introduced Harry, who goes to Shore on scholarship but hails from Cherrybrook, and his parents who accompanied him for the evening. Harry’s parents are first generation Australian Chinese and Harry learned the word for “Shut Up” – Busuwala (sic) at a very young age. Harry spoke most eloquently about his goals to be a leader and specialise as an advocacy lawyer in the USA. He has been selected to attend MUNA at Yale University next January for two weeks and the Club has donated $500 towards his airfare. A most impressive young man and all Fellows were extremely impressed with his talk.
Guest Speaker – Peter Ward, District Governor
Carole Russell welcomes Peter and Anne Ward and our Assistant Governor John Fenessy.
DG Peter has been a member of the Rotary Club of The Entrance since 2004 and has held every role within the Club before taking on a wider roles within the District. He works as an IT Consultant and was joined by his wife Anne who’s birthday it happened to be on the night.
President Colin outlined the Club CV - 39 members, 1 honorary member and 2 new members.
President Colin went on to summarise the highlights of each Committee throughout the year and the goals & projects under consideration for the coming year.
DG Peter then spoke about his goal to get to know each Club better and outlined his keenness for the Assistant Governors to be more proactive in district leadership; sharing experiences and ideas etc.
DG Peter also spoke about the importance of being proactive in seeking new members by actively networking and reinforced that it enessy.vicesis all Club members responsibility to engage potential new members and not just the role of the few on the Membership Committee. He is asking all Clubs to consider how they engage with their local communities and develop a “how can we help” attitude that is not necessarily about fundraising.
Finally, DG Peter spoke about member retention and the importance of understanding members goals and what is meaningful to them individually.
Question time was a spirited conversation much of the time spent debating the merits and reasoning behind the need to report hours and what constitutes hours versus dollars
The raffle was won by Assistant Governor John
H & T was won by Paul Laroumanie.
There were no Fines imposed by Sgt Ric due to time constraints – look out next week!
Linda Barrett, Night Reporter
President Colin presented a Certificate of Appreciation to Neville H. for his stellar efforts in co-ordinating this year’s Garage Sale.
President Colin also commended Max H. and Andrew L. for their efforts in organising the recent Trivia Night and they too were presented with a Certificate of Recognition.
Directors Reports
Rosemary – Youth
The Club has been asked to consider hosting a Brazilian exchange student (Larissa) who is scheduled to arrive in Jan next year. Larissa is allergic to cats so this discounted some club members however Linda B and Rob T expressed interest. Rosemary will follow up with Pam Bennett.
Keith – Membership
There are two potential new members – Maria and Angela – but Keith still needs more candidates in the pipeline. Jey was impressed by the Club at the Garage Sale wants to get involved. Work commitments (2yrs FT in Canberra) may restrict that involvement to being an active weekend FOR.
Tony – Treasurer
There are three possible projects under consideration for the Next Big Thing:
1. Funding a new playground at St Gabriel’s School in tandem with Glenhaven Rotary Club
2. Involvement in a new project at District level
3. Bidjugal Reserve trail signage and upgraded picnic areas
Max H – Club Services
Max asked, on behalf of Janelle, for assistance with the upcoming Bunnings BBQ. All timeslots were subsequently filled.
The first round of Friendship dinners will occur in November with the second round happening in March – stay tuned. Max also reminded everyone about the opportunity to attend SMYT production of “Wizard of Oz”, with dinner in the Bistro at 6pm and the show to commence at 7.30pm
Neville H – Garage Sale
Neville reiterated the great results from this year’s Garage Sale – the “best ever” with revenues up 8% over last year with approximately the same number of visitors. He passed on his thanks to everyone involved. Frank from Springfield House apologised for missing the event!
Rosemary – MUNA Challenge
Rosemary introduced Harry, who goes to Shore on scholarship but hails from Cherrybrook, and his parents who accompanied him for the evening. Harry’s parents are first generation Australian Chinese and Harry learned the word for “Shut Up” – Busuwala (sic) at a very young age. Harry spoke most eloquently about his goals to be a leader and specialise as an advocacy lawyer in the USA. He has been selected to attend MUNA at Yale University next January for two weeks and the Club has donated $500 towards his airfare. A most impressive young man and all Fellows were extremely impressed with his talk.
Guest Speaker – Peter Ward, District Governor
Carole Russell welcomes Peter and Anne Ward and our Assistant Governor John Fenessy.
DG Peter has been a member of the Rotary Club of The Entrance since 2004 and has held every role within the Club before taking on a wider roles within the District. He works as an IT Consultant and was joined by his wife Anne who’s birthday it happened to be on the night.
President Colin outlined the Club CV - 39 members, 1 honorary member and 2 new members.
President Colin went on to summarise the highlights of each Committee throughout the year and the goals & projects under consideration for the coming year.
DG Peter then spoke about his goal to get to know each Club better and outlined his keenness for the Assistant Governors to be more proactive in district leadership; sharing experiences and ideas etc.
DG Peter also spoke about the importance of being proactive in seeking new members by actively networking and reinforced that it enessy.vicesis all Club members responsibility to engage potential new members and not just the role of the few on the Membership Committee. He is asking all Clubs to consider how they engage with their local communities and develop a “how can we help” attitude that is not necessarily about fundraising.
Finally, DG Peter spoke about member retention and the importance of understanding members goals and what is meaningful to them individually.
Question time was a spirited conversation much of the time spent debating the merits and reasoning behind the need to report hours and what constitutes hours versus dollars
The raffle was won by Assistant Governor John
H & T was won by Paul Laroumanie.
There were no Fines imposed by Sgt Ric due to time constraints – look out next week!
Linda Barrett, Night Reporter
Night Photos
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This Week's Humour
"The Golden Water of Life" For all Whisky lovers
Jim
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Murphy's Law
'Murphy's Law' with a wonderful Irish explanation:
Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor, and lo behold.....and it lands butter-side-up.
He looks down in astonishment, for he knows it's a law of the universe that buttered toast ALWAYS ls butter-down.
So he rushes round to the Parish to fetch Father Flanagan.
He tells the Priest that a miracle has occurred in his kitchen. He won't say what it is, but asks Flanagan to come and see it with his own eyes.
He leads Fr. Flanagan into the kitchen and asks him what he sees on the floor.
"Well," says the Priest, "it's pretty obvious that someone has dropped some buttered toast on the floor and then, for some reason, they flipped it over so that the butter was on top."
“No Father, I dropped it and it landed like that!" exclaimed Murphy.
"Oh my Lord," says Fr. Flanagan, "Dropped toast never falls with the butter side up... it's a miracle.... but wait... it's not for me to say it's a miracle, I'll have to report this matter to the Bishop and he'll have to deal with it. He'll send some people round to interview you, take photos, etc."
A thorough investigation is conducted, not only by the Archdiocese but by scientists sent over from the Curia in Rome. No expense is spared.
There is great excitement in the town as everyone knows that a miracle will bring in much needed tourism revenue.
Then, after 8 long weeks and with great fanfare, the Bishop announces the final ruling.
"It is certain that some kind of an extraordinary event took place in Murphy's kitchen, quite outside the natural laws of the universe.
Yet the Holy See must be very cautious before ruling a miracle and all other explanations must be ruled out."
.
.
.
.
"Unfortunately in this case it has been declared 'No Miracle' because they think... Murphy may have buttered the toast on the wrong side!"
Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor, and lo behold.....and it lands butter-side-up.
He looks down in astonishment, for he knows it's a law of the universe that buttered toast ALWAYS ls butter-down.
So he rushes round to the Parish to fetch Father Flanagan.
He tells the Priest that a miracle has occurred in his kitchen. He won't say what it is, but asks Flanagan to come and see it with his own eyes.
He leads Fr. Flanagan into the kitchen and asks him what he sees on the floor.
"Well," says the Priest, "it's pretty obvious that someone has dropped some buttered toast on the floor and then, for some reason, they flipped it over so that the butter was on top."
“No Father, I dropped it and it landed like that!" exclaimed Murphy.
"Oh my Lord," says Fr. Flanagan, "Dropped toast never falls with the butter side up... it's a miracle.... but wait... it's not for me to say it's a miracle, I'll have to report this matter to the Bishop and he'll have to deal with it. He'll send some people round to interview you, take photos, etc."
A thorough investigation is conducted, not only by the Archdiocese but by scientists sent over from the Curia in Rome. No expense is spared.
There is great excitement in the town as everyone knows that a miracle will bring in much needed tourism revenue.
Then, after 8 long weeks and with great fanfare, the Bishop announces the final ruling.
"It is certain that some kind of an extraordinary event took place in Murphy's kitchen, quite outside the natural laws of the universe.
Yet the Holy See must be very cautious before ruling a miracle and all other explanations must be ruled out."
.
.
.
.
"Unfortunately in this case it has been declared 'No Miracle' because they think... Murphy may have buttered the toast on the wrong side!"
Jim
Global Facts About Sex
At Any Given Moment
FACT
FACT
FACT
FACT
FACT
- 79,000,000 people are engaged in sex - right now
FACT
- 58,000,000 are kissing
FACT
- 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex
FACT
- 1 elderly person is reading emails.
Stan
Joke Bank content is 6 jokes.
Club Calendar
Editor's Note: If you wish to download and print the Calendar please click here.
Bulletin Editor - Keith Ball
