The Next Meetings |
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Monday 14th May
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Youth Insearch - Speaker TBA
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Monday 21st May
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Vocational Visit to Youth Hub at Hornsby PCYC
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Monday 28th May
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Pride of Workmanship
Partner Night
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Duty Roster
If you are unable to be at the meeting please contact the person doing your role the following week/s, arrange a swap and advise Max, so he can amend his records.
Also, to avoid being rostered on, please notify Max of any upcoming known absences (eg holidays) from meetings in the next twelve months.
Also, to avoid being rostered on, please notify Max of any upcoming known absences (eg holidays) from meetings in the next twelve months.
Inside This Issue |
Upcoming Events |
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21st May
28th May
16th June
7th July
20th July
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Vocational Visit to Hornsby PCYC
Pride of Workmanship Awards
Club Changeover
District Changeover
SYMT - Rock of Ages
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Club Calendar
Take me to the Club Calendar
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Note: This link goes to another page. At the bottom of that page is a link back to this page.
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An Invitation to all Rotarians and Friends of District 9685 and their partners
Seeking Nominations for Pride of Workmanship Award
The Vocation Committee is seeking nominations for the Pride of Workmanship Award.
The night is scheduled for 28th May. This may seem a long time in the future, however, candidates need to be found and vetted.
Should you know of a person that fits the criteria please contact either Barry F or John T.
Suitable nominations are employees or business owners that you believe take pride in pursuit of their vocation.
The nomination form can be downloaded by clicking on Nomination Form.
The night is scheduled for 28th May. This may seem a long time in the future, however, candidates need to be found and vetted.
Should you know of a person that fits the criteria please contact either Barry F or John T.
Suitable nominations are employees or business owners that you believe take pride in pursuit of their vocation.
The nomination form can be downloaded by clicking on Nomination Form.
Rock of Ages
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It’s the tail end of the big, bad 1980s in Hollywood, and the party has been raging hard. Aqua Net, Lycra, lace and liquor flow freely at one of the Sunset Strips last legendary venues, a place where sex machine Stacee Jaxx takes the stage and scantily clad groupies line up to turn their fantasies into reality.
Amidst the madness, aspiring rock star (and resident toilet cleaner) Drew longs to take the stage as the next big thing (and longs for small-town girl Sherri, fresh off the bus from Kansas with stars in her eyes). But the rock and roll fairy-tale is about to end when German developers sweep into town with plans to turn the fabled Strip into just another capitalist strip mall.
Can Drew, Sherri and the gang save the strip–and themselves–before it's too late? Only the music of hit bands Styx, Journey, Bon Jovi, Whitesnake and more hold the answer.
Amidst the madness, aspiring rock star (and resident toilet cleaner) Drew longs to take the stage as the next big thing (and longs for small-town girl Sherri, fresh off the bus from Kansas with stars in her eyes). But the rock and roll fairy-tale is about to end when German developers sweep into town with plans to turn the fabled Strip into just another capitalist strip mall.
Can Drew, Sherri and the gang save the strip–and themselves–before it's too late? Only the music of hit bands Styx, Journey, Bon Jovi, Whitesnake and more hold the answer.
Book by Chris D'Arienzo
Arrangements and Orchestrations by Ethan Popp
By Arrangement with ORIGIN™ Theatrical on behalf of Samuel French, Inc. Artwork designed by AKA NYC
Hornsby RSL
Friday 20th July 2018, 7.30pm
$32.00 concession & $37.00 Adult
Arrangements and Orchestrations by Ethan Popp
By Arrangement with ORIGIN™ Theatrical on behalf of Samuel French, Inc. Artwork designed by AKA NYC
Hornsby RSL
Friday 20th July 2018, 7.30pm
$32.00 concession & $37.00 Adult
Please make payment into the club's General Account by Monday 28th May
or pay at the front desk on a meeting night
(in order to secure good seats we need to book early)
Please also identify your payment with your surname and Rock
or pay at the front desk on a meeting night
(in order to secure good seats we need to book early)
Please also identify your payment with your surname and Rock
Dural Music Society
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Interact
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Interact clubs bring together young people ages 12-18 to develop leadership skills while discovering the power of Service Above Self.
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Rotaract
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Rotaract brings together adults ages 18-30 to take action in their communities, develop their leadership and professional skills, and have fun.
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Rotary Youth Program of Enrichment
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RYPEN, The Rotary Youth Program of Enrichment, is for young people aged 14 to 16 years and caters for teenagers who have shown qualities of decency, courage, persistence, sincerity, and application in everyday life, which deserve further development.
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Rotary Youth Leadership Award
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RYLA is a transformational leadership program designed for young adults aged 18-27. Spanning over 7 days, the program combines some of Australia's finest speakers with engaging activities and challenges, as well as a supportive environment that enables your leadership to grow and develop to its full potential. RYLA is run annually, with close to 90 candidates in Elanora Heights, on Sydney's Northern beaches.
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Rotary Youth Exchange
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Rotary Youth Exchange builds peace one young person at a time. Students learn a new language, discover another culture, and truly become global citizens. Exchanges for students 15 to 19 years old are sponsored by Rotary clubs in more than 100 countries.
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Wanted - New Members
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If you know of someone who would benefit from Rotary, or, from whom Rotary would benefit if they were a member, then contact Keith.
Click here for a PDF copy of the form to the right, and send or give it to Keith. |
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What it takes to be a Rotarian
This article is inspired by an article from the RC of Paterson (Carol's brother's Club). Indeed, I have plagiarised heavily.
I have recently become aware that there are members of the community who may have some misunderstandings about what it takes to be a Rotarian.
We are always looking for new members and, in fact, it is new people joining that keeps us alive as a Service club. From time to time I hear people say things that make me think they don't consider joining or even visiting Rotary for all the wrong reasons. This article is about the things you don't need to join Rotary, and the things you do, just in case you are not sure. The other thing you should know is that we are a very friendly bunch of men and women and we have a lot of fun, as well as achieving some pretty good things in the community. Don't need:
Must have:
If you would like to come along as a guest to see what it is all about just call either President Colin (0412 064 336) or Keith (Membership) (0478 599 155) |
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Significant Club fundraising events during the year
The Book Sale March 2018. As the result of a lot of hard work the April Book Sale was a great success, especially from the organisers Max Henderson, Andrew Little and Clive Denmark. Funds raised were circa $15,000. Well done.
2017 Trivia Night
The Club held a very successful trivia night on Saturday 26 August 20167at the Cherrybrook Community Centre, raising just over $5,000 towards the charities we support.
The Club held a very successful trivia night on Saturday 26 August 20167at the Cherrybrook Community Centre, raising just over $5,000 towards the charities we support.
The Garage Sale
We have just had our best and most successful Garage Sale on the weekend of 7&8 October raising a record gross - north of $35k.
Excellent Project Management and a large number of dedicated volunteers, some putting in hours of effort, in the weeks before the weekend contributed to this result.
We have just had our best and most successful Garage Sale on the weekend of 7&8 October raising a record gross - north of $35k.
Excellent Project Management and a large number of dedicated volunteers, some putting in hours of effort, in the weeks before the weekend contributed to this result.
Barbecues
The club runs fund raising barbecues throughout the year, mainly at Bunnings (both Dural and Thornleigh) Here are Barry, Tony, Nick and David hard at work. at Thornleigh..
The club runs fund raising barbecues throughout the year, mainly at Bunnings (both Dural and Thornleigh) Here are Barry, Tony, Nick and David hard at work. at Thornleigh..
Meetings
Monday 6:30pm for 7:00pm - Springfield House - 245 New Line Road, Dural 2158
Apologies
If you are unable to attend or are bringing a guest (even if they are your partner) you must notify Carol.
Phone 8850 6515 or email carol.russell@ybr.com.au before 11am on the day of the meeting.
Phone 8850 6515 or email carol.russell@ybr.com.au before 11am on the day of the meeting.
If you are expected and do not show you will be required to pay for the meal.
President's Report 7th May
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Twenty one members, one partner (Roma), the guest speaker Azita Abdoolahian) and her assistant (Alex Hezari) were welcomed tonight. The guests are Rotarians from the Norwest Sunrise club.
Thank you to Janelle and Roma for arranging for Ms Azita Abdollahian to be our speaker at short notice. Thank you to Tony Coote and Ricardo for obtaining a pink slip for the BBQ trailer. Thank you to Carol and Andrew who between them got a lovely article about the book sale in this month’s Dooral Roundup 
Editor: Lightbox is "On".
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Member details recorded by RI. District uses Clubrunner to manage its website and you need to register as a user to get access to all the District Pages and to your personal account. Go to http://rotarydistrict9685.org.au/and login/register as a member. Follow the prompts if you are not already a member. Please update your personal details with gender and age. For many of you these were not recorded when you joined Rotary but are now mandatory. These details allow a more accurate profile to be done for our club. i.e. gender mix and average member age.
MyRotary. MyRotary is the Rotary International web site and needs a separate user registration. If you are not registered I encourage you to do so. It is easy to set one up – go to www.rotary.org/ and follow the prompts. I have a 10 easy step document that I can send you. There is a lot of good information about Rotary programs and member training programs in MyRotary.
Rotary 101. Ross is going to hold a session before the end of this Rotary year. It primarily targeted at new members, but anyone can go. It will be held at Ross’s around mid June. New members please watch your email for the invitation to attend. Others please contact Ross.
Next week our speaker is from Youth Insearch. Insearch empowers young people to take control of their lives, by giving them the opportunity and skills to develop their self-esteem and play a positive role in society. It is supported by Rotary.
May 21st we are meeting at PCYC for dinner, to hear about PCYC and get a tour of the facility. Please pay $25 per person at the front desk or by direct deposit into the Club general account. Payments must be made by the end of Thursday May 17th.
MyRotary. MyRotary is the Rotary International web site and needs a separate user registration. If you are not registered I encourage you to do so. It is easy to set one up – go to www.rotary.org/ and follow the prompts. I have a 10 easy step document that I can send you. There is a lot of good information about Rotary programs and member training programs in MyRotary.
Rotary 101. Ross is going to hold a session before the end of this Rotary year. It primarily targeted at new members, but anyone can go. It will be held at Ross’s around mid June. New members please watch your email for the invitation to attend. Others please contact Ross.
Next week our speaker is from Youth Insearch. Insearch empowers young people to take control of their lives, by giving them the opportunity and skills to develop their self-esteem and play a positive role in society. It is supported by Rotary.
May 21st we are meeting at PCYC for dinner, to hear about PCYC and get a tour of the facility. Please pay $25 per person at the front desk or by direct deposit into the Club general account. Payments must be made by the end of Thursday May 17th.
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A reminder: Members and partners who do NOT have the small name badge to wear at functions and would like one could you please let me know.
Board meetings this week:
Until we meet again next Monday for more fun and fellowship, have a great week making a difference. President Colin |
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Night Report
Night Report 8/5/18
Sergeant Ricardo called the meeting to order commenting that he nearly didn’t make it because he didn’t have any pants to fit him due to his weight loss. Rebecca refused to allow him to wear his work pants so she did a last-minute shop and he arrived looking just perfect. President Colin Sharpe then welcomed all the members and partner Roma, who is a friend of the guest speaker, Azita Abdollahian.
Directors Report
Max Henderson – Looking for people to see SYMT “Rock for Ages” Fri 20th July at Hornsby RSL. Dinner at 6pm for those interested followed by the show. $32 / head pensioners concession and $37 everyone else.
Rosemary Clarke – Has received a NYSF application (National Youth Science Forum) for a St Pious X College, Chatswood student who lives at Cherrybrook. Also, news that Eric, (a former NYSF attendee who has also helped out at out Book Sale), has made an application and on merit been selected to attend a similar Science forum in London. Larissa is still away on Safari and members were encouraged to take her out for a meal, a day or a weekend.
David Turnbull commented that he was invited to Canberra to partake in an anniversary luncheon for the contractors involved in the Parliament House project. David felt a little short changed because for lunch he was only offered sandwiches, party pies and a cup of tea. The Night Reporter is unsure if any other invitee got the same meal.
Ross Ballinger gave a brief introduction to the lectures he gives to new members titled Rotary 101, advising another one will be coming up shortly.
Member Talk
Carol Russell spoke about a group she is in called BNI (Business Network International). It was originally founded in Los Angeles in 1985 and is based on the philosophy of GIVERS GAIN, i.e., if you refer business to me I’ll refer business unconditionally to you. There are thousands of BNI Chapters around the world with 200 franchised groups in Australia. Most Chapters contain 30-100 members. Each Chapter can only have one person representing that business speciality. The Sydney NW region comprises 10 Chapters and last year they recorded $14m in member referrals. Carol has recently embarked on setting up a new Chapter. She needs 15 members to start it up. She has 10 so far and welcomes recommendations from Club Members of any potential new names.
Guest Speaker
Azita Abdollahian
Azita grew up in Iran and was 17 when her arranged marriage took place.
In 1999 the Iranian security services came after her husband. They escaped, managed to get passports and left for Turkey with their two young daughters, a few clothes and books.
They were registered as asylum seekers by the United Nations and after 13 months were accepted into Australia. Early life in Australia was lonely and hard.
Her marriage ceased in 2011.
Azita has a hairdressing salon in Castle Hill. When as a little girl and people asked her what she wanted to do when she grew up she would say a hairdresser and a psychologist and people would laugh and say, `you can’t do both, choose one’. She is now doing both having enrolled at the Australian College of Applied Psychology. The front of her salon is for hairdressers and the back offers counselling services.
The main thrust of Azita’s talk however was about her work with the homeless.
Azita said a video on social media about a homeless man being harassed sparked her passion for helping the vulnerable. The next night she went into Central Station to find him. When she eventually did she asked what he wanted, and he said socks, a lot of socks. She looked around and no one had socks. The next night she arrived with 60 pairs and hot soup. She was then asked when she was coming back, and its’ been 2-3 times a week ever since. Her friends and customers heard about it and now help as well. Her salon has turned into a bit of a collection house for clothing and food. Some people donated money so she set up a Foundation which can be found on Facebook called “Shining Light Foundation”. (Additional background from Daily Telegraph April 2017.)
Head and Tails
Barry won and gifted the wine to Azita.
Colin McGowan, Night Reporter
Sergeant Ricardo called the meeting to order commenting that he nearly didn’t make it because he didn’t have any pants to fit him due to his weight loss. Rebecca refused to allow him to wear his work pants so she did a last-minute shop and he arrived looking just perfect. President Colin Sharpe then welcomed all the members and partner Roma, who is a friend of the guest speaker, Azita Abdollahian.
Directors Report
Max Henderson – Looking for people to see SYMT “Rock for Ages” Fri 20th July at Hornsby RSL. Dinner at 6pm for those interested followed by the show. $32 / head pensioners concession and $37 everyone else.
Rosemary Clarke – Has received a NYSF application (National Youth Science Forum) for a St Pious X College, Chatswood student who lives at Cherrybrook. Also, news that Eric, (a former NYSF attendee who has also helped out at out Book Sale), has made an application and on merit been selected to attend a similar Science forum in London. Larissa is still away on Safari and members were encouraged to take her out for a meal, a day or a weekend.
David Turnbull commented that he was invited to Canberra to partake in an anniversary luncheon for the contractors involved in the Parliament House project. David felt a little short changed because for lunch he was only offered sandwiches, party pies and a cup of tea. The Night Reporter is unsure if any other invitee got the same meal.
Ross Ballinger gave a brief introduction to the lectures he gives to new members titled Rotary 101, advising another one will be coming up shortly.
Member Talk
Carol Russell spoke about a group she is in called BNI (Business Network International). It was originally founded in Los Angeles in 1985 and is based on the philosophy of GIVERS GAIN, i.e., if you refer business to me I’ll refer business unconditionally to you. There are thousands of BNI Chapters around the world with 200 franchised groups in Australia. Most Chapters contain 30-100 members. Each Chapter can only have one person representing that business speciality. The Sydney NW region comprises 10 Chapters and last year they recorded $14m in member referrals. Carol has recently embarked on setting up a new Chapter. She needs 15 members to start it up. She has 10 so far and welcomes recommendations from Club Members of any potential new names.
Guest Speaker
Azita Abdollahian
Azita grew up in Iran and was 17 when her arranged marriage took place.
In 1999 the Iranian security services came after her husband. They escaped, managed to get passports and left for Turkey with their two young daughters, a few clothes and books.
They were registered as asylum seekers by the United Nations and after 13 months were accepted into Australia. Early life in Australia was lonely and hard.
Her marriage ceased in 2011.
Azita has a hairdressing salon in Castle Hill. When as a little girl and people asked her what she wanted to do when she grew up she would say a hairdresser and a psychologist and people would laugh and say, `you can’t do both, choose one’. She is now doing both having enrolled at the Australian College of Applied Psychology. The front of her salon is for hairdressers and the back offers counselling services.
The main thrust of Azita’s talk however was about her work with the homeless.
Azita said a video on social media about a homeless man being harassed sparked her passion for helping the vulnerable. The next night she went into Central Station to find him. When she eventually did she asked what he wanted, and he said socks, a lot of socks. She looked around and no one had socks. The next night she arrived with 60 pairs and hot soup. She was then asked when she was coming back, and its’ been 2-3 times a week ever since. Her friends and customers heard about it and now help as well. Her salon has turned into a bit of a collection house for clothing and food. Some people donated money so she set up a Foundation which can be found on Facebook called “Shining Light Foundation”. (Additional background from Daily Telegraph April 2017.)
Head and Tails
Barry won and gifted the wine to Azita.
Colin McGowan, Night Reporter
Night Photos
Editors Note: Click on a photo for a larger view.
This Week's Humour
You've Gotta Be Kiddin' Me
Have you ever wondered who first uttered the phrase "You’ve Gotta Be Kiddin’ Me?"
Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Founding Father of USA, way back when
George Washington was crossing the Delaware River with his troops.
There were 33 (remember this number) in Washington’s boat.
It was extremely dark and storming furiously and the water was tossing them about.
Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Cox and stationed him at the front of the boat with a lantern.
He ordered him to keep swinging it, so they could see where they were heading.
Corporal Cox, through driving rain and cold, continued swinging the lantern back and forth, back and forth.
Then a big gust of wind and a wave hit and threw Corporal Cox and his lantern into the Delaware.
Washington and his troops searched for nearly an hour trying to find Corporal Cox, but to no avail.
All of them felt terrible, for the Corporal had been one of their favourites.
Sometime later, Washington and his troops landed on the other side, wet and totally exhausted.
He rallied the troops and told them that they must go on.
Another hour later, one of his men said, 'General, I see lights ahead.'
They trudged toward the lights and came upon a huge house.
What they didn't know was that this was a house of ill repute, hidden in the forest to serve all who came.
General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding around him.
The door swung open, and much to his surprise stood a beautiful woman.
A huge smile came across her face, to see so many men standing there.
Washington was the first to speak, 'Madam, I am General George Washington and these are my men.
We are tired, wet, exhausted, and desperately need warmth and comfort.'
Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and with a broad smile on her face, said, 'Well, General, you have come to the right place.
We can surely give you warmth and comfort. How many men do you have?'
Washington replied, 'Well, Madam, there are 32 of us without Cox.'
And the Madam said, 'You gotta be Kiddin’ me!’
Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Founding Father of USA, way back when
George Washington was crossing the Delaware River with his troops.
There were 33 (remember this number) in Washington’s boat.
It was extremely dark and storming furiously and the water was tossing them about.
Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Cox and stationed him at the front of the boat with a lantern.
He ordered him to keep swinging it, so they could see where they were heading.
Corporal Cox, through driving rain and cold, continued swinging the lantern back and forth, back and forth.
Then a big gust of wind and a wave hit and threw Corporal Cox and his lantern into the Delaware.
Washington and his troops searched for nearly an hour trying to find Corporal Cox, but to no avail.
All of them felt terrible, for the Corporal had been one of their favourites.
Sometime later, Washington and his troops landed on the other side, wet and totally exhausted.
He rallied the troops and told them that they must go on.
Another hour later, one of his men said, 'General, I see lights ahead.'
They trudged toward the lights and came upon a huge house.
What they didn't know was that this was a house of ill repute, hidden in the forest to serve all who came.
General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding around him.
The door swung open, and much to his surprise stood a beautiful woman.
A huge smile came across her face, to see so many men standing there.
Washington was the first to speak, 'Madam, I am General George Washington and these are my men.
We are tired, wet, exhausted, and desperately need warmth and comfort.'
Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and with a broad smile on her face, said, 'Well, General, you have come to the right place.
We can surely give you warmth and comfort. How many men do you have?'
Washington replied, 'Well, Madam, there are 32 of us without Cox.'
And the Madam said, 'You gotta be Kiddin’ me!’
Jim
Nun on the Golf Course
A nun walks into the Mother Superior’s office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh, heavy with frustration.
“What troubles you, Sister?” asked Mother Superior. “I thought this was the day you spent with your family.”
“It was,” sighed the Sister. “And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.”
“I seem to recall that,” Mother Superior agreed. “So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?”
“Far from it,” snorted the Sister. “In fact, I used profane language today.”
“Goodness, Sister!” gasped Mother Superior. “You must tell me all about it!”
“Well, we were on the 5th tee — and this hole is a monster, Mother — 540 yard par 5, with a nasty dogleg right and a hidden green … and I hit the drive of my life. The sweetest swing I’ve ever made. And it’s flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted … and it hits a bird in mid-flight!”
“Oh my.” commiserated Mother Superior. “How unfortunate. But surely that didn’t make you blaspheme, Sister.”
“No, that wasn’t it,” admitted the Sister. “While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway.”
“Oh, that would have made me blaspheme.” sympathised Mother Superior.
“But I didn’t, Mother!” sobbed the Sister. “And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws.”
“So that’s when you cursed,” said Mother Superior with a knowing smile.
“Nope, that wasn’t it either,” cried the Sister, anguished, “because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup.”
Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said....
“You missed the f****** putt, didn’t you?”
“What troubles you, Sister?” asked Mother Superior. “I thought this was the day you spent with your family.”
“It was,” sighed the Sister. “And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.”
“I seem to recall that,” Mother Superior agreed. “So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?”
“Far from it,” snorted the Sister. “In fact, I used profane language today.”
“Goodness, Sister!” gasped Mother Superior. “You must tell me all about it!”
“Well, we were on the 5th tee — and this hole is a monster, Mother — 540 yard par 5, with a nasty dogleg right and a hidden green … and I hit the drive of my life. The sweetest swing I’ve ever made. And it’s flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted … and it hits a bird in mid-flight!”
“Oh my.” commiserated Mother Superior. “How unfortunate. But surely that didn’t make you blaspheme, Sister.”
“No, that wasn’t it,” admitted the Sister. “While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway.”
“Oh, that would have made me blaspheme.” sympathised Mother Superior.
“But I didn’t, Mother!” sobbed the Sister. “And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws.”
“So that’s when you cursed,” said Mother Superior with a knowing smile.
“Nope, that wasn’t it either,” cried the Sister, anguished, “because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup.”
Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said....
“You missed the f****** putt, didn’t you?”
Jim
Herman - Episode 1 (of 6)
Carol
Murphy's Other 15 Laws
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
14 . God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.
15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
14 . God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.
15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Jim
Joke Bank content is 15 jokes.
Club Calendar
Editor's Note: If you wish to download and print the Calendar please click here.
Bulletin Editor - Keith Ball