The Next Meetings |
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Monday 11th SeptemberJoint sitting at Pennant Hills Golf Club with Beecroft and other clubs.
Special Guest: John Hewko |
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Monday 18th SeptemberTitanic Talk - Andrew Rodgers
Partners Night
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Duty Roster
If you are unable to be at the meeting please contact the person doing your role the following week/s, arrange a swap and advise Max, so he can amend his records.
Inside This Issue |
Upcoming Events |
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Note: The above are "safe" links. They merely navigate within this page.
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11th September
7&8 October
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John Hewko - General Secretary to RI & Foundation
Joint sitting at Pennant Hills Golf Club with Beecroft and other clubs. Timing 6:30pm for 7:00pm Garage Sale
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Club Calendar
Take me to the Club Calendar
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Note: This link goes to another page. At the bottom of that page is a link back to this page.
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John Hewko
General secretary
John Hewko
Rotary Club of Kyiv
Ukraine
John Hewko is the general secretary of Rotary International and The Rotary Foundation.
From 2004 to 2009, Hewko was vice president for operations and compact development for the Millennium Challenge Corporation (MCC), a U.S. government agency established in 2004 to deliver foreign assistance to the world’s poorest countries. At MCC, he was the principal United States negotiator for foreign assistance agreements to 26 countries in Africa, Asia, South America, the Middle East, and the former Soviet Union. During his tenure, he completed the negotiation of assistance agreements totaling $6.3 billion to 18 countries for infrastructure, agriculture, water and sanitation, health, and education projects.
Prior to joining MCC, Hewko was an international partner with the law firm Baker & McKenzie, specializing in international corporate transactions in emerging markets. He helped establish the firm’s Moscow office and was the managing partner of its offices in Kyiv and Prague.
While working in Ukraine in the early 1990s, Hewko assisted the working group that prepared the initial draft of the new Ukrainian post-Soviet constitution and was a charter member of the first Rotary club in Kyiv.
Hewko has been a public policy scholar at the Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars, an adjunct professor of law at Georgetown University, and a visiting scholar at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace. He has published papers and articles in leading U.S. and international publications, and he has spoken extensively on political and business issues dealing with the former Soviet Union, Central Europe, Africa, and Latin America. He is also a member of the Council of Foreign Relations.
Hewko holds a law degree from Harvard University, a master’s in modern history from Oxford University (where he studied as a Marshall Scholar), and a bachelor’s in government and Soviet studies from Hamilton College in New York.
As general secretary, Hewko leads a diverse staff of 800 at Rotary International’s World Headquarters in Evanston, Illinois, USA, and seven international offices. Hewko is a Paul Harris Fellow. He and his wife, Margarita, live in Evanston.
John Hewko
Rotary Club of Kyiv
Ukraine
John Hewko is the general secretary of Rotary International and The Rotary Foundation.
From 2004 to 2009, Hewko was vice president for operations and compact development for the Millennium Challenge Corporation (MCC), a U.S. government agency established in 2004 to deliver foreign assistance to the world’s poorest countries. At MCC, he was the principal United States negotiator for foreign assistance agreements to 26 countries in Africa, Asia, South America, the Middle East, and the former Soviet Union. During his tenure, he completed the negotiation of assistance agreements totaling $6.3 billion to 18 countries for infrastructure, agriculture, water and sanitation, health, and education projects.
Prior to joining MCC, Hewko was an international partner with the law firm Baker & McKenzie, specializing in international corporate transactions in emerging markets. He helped establish the firm’s Moscow office and was the managing partner of its offices in Kyiv and Prague.
While working in Ukraine in the early 1990s, Hewko assisted the working group that prepared the initial draft of the new Ukrainian post-Soviet constitution and was a charter member of the first Rotary club in Kyiv.
Hewko has been a public policy scholar at the Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars, an adjunct professor of law at Georgetown University, and a visiting scholar at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace. He has published papers and articles in leading U.S. and international publications, and he has spoken extensively on political and business issues dealing with the former Soviet Union, Central Europe, Africa, and Latin America. He is also a member of the Council of Foreign Relations.
Hewko holds a law degree from Harvard University, a master’s in modern history from Oxford University (where he studied as a Marshall Scholar), and a bachelor’s in government and Soviet studies from Hamilton College in New York.
As general secretary, Hewko leads a diverse staff of 800 at Rotary International’s World Headquarters in Evanston, Illinois, USA, and seven international offices. Hewko is a Paul Harris Fellow. He and his wife, Margarita, live in Evanston.
2017 Garage Sale
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A Message from Neville (Editor has taken some liberties)
Hi All, we only have 5 weeks to go to the Garage Sale so things are starting to hot up. I will be talking each week at Rotary but thought I would communicate weekly via email also as then it reaches everyone. I will keep it short.
Please keep spreading the word.
Regards
Neville Hansen
Hi All, we only have 5 weeks to go to the Garage Sale so things are starting to hot up. I will be talking each week at Rotary but thought I would communicate weekly via email also as then it reaches everyone. I will keep it short.
- Flyer - we have finished the flyer and it has been sent for printing and distribution. A big thank you to Nikki Turnbull. Copy attached if you want to forward onto friends.
- Availability -
- I will put the availability sheets out on Monday nights for people to fill in.
- A copy is also available at the following link - 2017 Garage Sale - People Availability
- This is an Excel worksheet
- If you feel comfortable, please fill in and email back to me by Tues 12th Sept at the latest. Your time is much appreciated.
- Please put a "y" in the box if you are available and a "n" if you are not available.
- Girl Guide Hall - The Hall will be available from Sat 16 Sept and we will set it up on Thurs 21 Sept.
- Awning up - Tom is putting up the Awning on Sat 16th Sept from 9am so will need at least four people to help. Takes 4-5 hours.
Please keep spreading the word.
Regards
Neville Hansen
Trivia Night 26th August
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Dear All
We had another very successful trivia night last Saturday night, with around 190 people attending. Altogether, with the raffle, coin nearest the bottle and the entry fee, we raised around $5,100. There are some expenses yet to come out of this, however it’s a great result. Everyone who comes to our trivia night has a good time and enjoy themselves. This was demonstrated when they were asked whether they had been before, the majority of people put their hands up! I would like to thank the trivia night committee:
The other people that need to be thanked are all the members, partners, friends & relatives who supported our Trivia Night by coming along and making the night a big success. Regards Andrew |
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Pavilion Theatre - "Ladies in Lavender" - Wednesday 20th September
On behalf of the Rotary Club of North Rocks, you and your club members and friends at e invitedto join us at the Pavilion Theatre on
Wednesday 20th September for their next production "Ladies in Lavender".
The cost is $25 per person.
Wine and cheese will be served from 7:30pm.
Please make payment into the club’s General Account with the reference of Ladies and your surname.
If interested please refer to Max who will have to finalise numbers by 10th September. (These will be based on payments to General Account.)
Wednesday 20th September for their next production "Ladies in Lavender".
The cost is $25 per person.
Wine and cheese will be served from 7:30pm.
Please make payment into the club’s General Account with the reference of Ladies and your surname.
If interested please refer to Max who will have to finalise numbers by 10th September. (These will be based on payments to General Account.)
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When the Widdington sisters discover an unconscious stranger on the beach and nurse him back to health their ordered life of cocoa before bed and the village jumble sale is transformed.
With a smattering of German between them, the sisters communicate with their patient – often with very humorous results and the assistance of the forthright housekeeper – and discover he is a promising young violinist.
Along with his music Andreas brings a sense of mischief and fun as well as an unsettling ability to stir up lost feelings of love and longing. The unsettled household is further disrupted when a visiting artist overhears Andreas playing the violin, presenting an opportunity that must be seized . . .
With a smattering of German between them, the sisters communicate with their patient – often with very humorous results and the assistance of the forthright housekeeper – and discover he is a promising young violinist.
Along with his music Andreas brings a sense of mischief and fun as well as an unsettling ability to stir up lost feelings of love and longing. The unsettled household is further disrupted when a visiting artist overhears Andreas playing the violin, presenting an opportunity that must be seized . . .
Inspirational Women Award
Charity Poker Night
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Dear Colin Sharpe, Please find attached a flyer for Crows Nest Rotary Charity Poker Night. 7pm Saturday October 21st @ North Sydney Leagues. I would really appreciate it , if you could circulate the flyer around your club.. Last year we raised $800 which went to 2 women refuges (Mary's House & Delvena House). This year's charity will be announced on the night.. Both years this has run, it has been a fun night. We cater for those who do not know how to play poker with lessons from 6pm on the night OR invite me to one of your meetings. Feel free to call me with any questions. Mark Staples Secretary, Crows Nest Rotary |
Top Five Reasons to End Trachoma
Top 5 Reasons to support EndTrachoma by 2020
Clubs around Australia support many worthwhile charities and projects. But EndTrachoma by 2020 is something particularly special for Rotary Australia.
Learn More >>
Note: Opens a pdf document as a new page.
Close the page and come back to here.
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September is Basic Education and Literacy Month
Supporting Education
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More than 775 million people over the age of 15 are illiterate. That’s 17 percent of the world’s adult population.
Our goal is to strengthen the capacity of communities to support basic education and literacy, reduce gender disparity in education, and increase adult literacy. We support education for all children and literacy for children and adults. HOW ROTARY MAKES HELP HAPPEN We take action to empower educators to inspire learning at all ages. |
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ROTARY SCHOLARSHIPS
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TEACHER TRAINING
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ADULT LITERACY
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Rotary members invest in the future by giving scholarships to students who have the potential to change our communities.
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We share our knowledge and experience with educators and other professionals who work with vulnerable populations.
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Rotary members fight adult illiteracy by working with local advocates to offer community literacy programs.
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Wanted - New Members
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We are experiencing another drought with respect to prospective new members.
If you know of someone who would benefit from Rotary, or, from whom Rotary would benefit if they were a member, then contact Keith. Click here for a PDF copy of the form to the right, and send or give it to Keith. |
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Significant Club fundraising events during the year
The Book Sale March 2017. As the result of a lot of hard work the April Book Sale was a great success, especially from the organisers Max Henderson, Andrew Little and Clive Denmark. Funds raised were circa $13,000. Well done.
2017 Trivia Night
The Club held a very successful trivia night on Saturday 26 August 20167at the Cherrybrook Community Centre, raising just over $5,000 towards the charities we support.
The Club held a very successful trivia night on Saturday 26 August 20167at the Cherrybrook Community Centre, raising just over $5,000 towards the charities we support.
The Garage Sale
We have just had a very successful Garage Sale on the weekend of 8/9 October raising a record gross of over $30k. The combination of good planning and benign weather contributed to this result.
We have just had a very successful Garage Sale on the weekend of 8/9 October raising a record gross of over $30k. The combination of good planning and benign weather contributed to this result.
Barbecues
The club runs fund raising barbecues throughout the year, mainly at Bunnings (both Dural and Thornleigh) Here are Barry, Tony, Nick and David hard at work. at Thornleigh..
The club runs fund raising barbecues throughout the year, mainly at Bunnings (both Dural and Thornleigh) Here are Barry, Tony, Nick and David hard at work. at Thornleigh..
Meetings
Monday 6:30pm for 7:00pm - Springfield House - 245 New Line Road, Dural 2158
Apologies
If you are unable to attend or are bringing a guest (even if they are your partner) you must notify Jilda.
Phone 8484 7106 or email [email protected] before 11am on the day of the meeting.
Phone 8484 7106 or email [email protected] before 11am on the day of the meeting.
If you are expected and do not show you will be required to pay for the meal.
President's Report
Presidents Report for – Sept 4
President Colin welcomed fellow Rotarians, Helen Ballinger and the guest speaker Tony Edwards who told us about Mind Dogs.
Business Items
Andrew and Max and all those who helped put together the Trivia night and those members who attended were thanked for their outstanding effort.
Janelle Craig and Peter Stanton, and all those who turned out for the impromptu Bunnings BBQ were thanked for their marvellous effort which helped raise the Club’s standing with Bunnings Thornleigh..
A snippet from last months RDU magazine demonstrating the diversity of Rotary Clubs. An insight from a club - “Not all members are business people or leaders of industry, but all are community-minded and eager to help worthy causes. Over 64% of members are female, 64% are under 50 and our youngest two members are 21 years old. Our club is based on Rotary’s true ideals of fun, friendship and service. Attendance isn’t focused upon – the only expectation is “Do what you can when you can”. We have a relaxed and friendly atmosphere. A new member refers to the club as her family….
This club has been chartered for less than 2 years. They hold a sunrise meeting with a $2 meal cost. It is the second club located in Singleton (Hunter Valley) and has 12 members.
Reminders:
1) Board Training on Saturday Sept 9th . 8 am – 11.30am Hornsby RSL (Please book by Sept 5)
2) Media Training on Sunday Sept 10th . 8 am – 11.30am at Hornsby RSL.
President Colin repeated Ric’s offer of a donation to the club for every member (and member referral) who get their car serviced at Hills Motor Repairs.
A Welcome Home card for Charlie was circulated for members to sign. The card and flowers will be put in the McCartney Residence in time for Charlie’s return on Tuesday Sept 12th.
Closing remarks
· Remember Meeting next week at Pennant Hills Golf Club.
· Board members meeting Tues Sept 12th at Max and Lynnes’ place.
· Next meeting at Springfield is a partners night with a pirate costume theme. We will hear a little about the sinking of the Titanic from our guest speaker.
· Just for the New Zealanders. What do you call a fish with no eye. FUSH
· Thank you all for coming. Have a great week making a difference until we meet again.
Colin
President Colin welcomed fellow Rotarians, Helen Ballinger and the guest speaker Tony Edwards who told us about Mind Dogs.
Business Items
Andrew and Max and all those who helped put together the Trivia night and those members who attended were thanked for their outstanding effort.
Janelle Craig and Peter Stanton, and all those who turned out for the impromptu Bunnings BBQ were thanked for their marvellous effort which helped raise the Club’s standing with Bunnings Thornleigh..
A snippet from last months RDU magazine demonstrating the diversity of Rotary Clubs. An insight from a club - “Not all members are business people or leaders of industry, but all are community-minded and eager to help worthy causes. Over 64% of members are female, 64% are under 50 and our youngest two members are 21 years old. Our club is based on Rotary’s true ideals of fun, friendship and service. Attendance isn’t focused upon – the only expectation is “Do what you can when you can”. We have a relaxed and friendly atmosphere. A new member refers to the club as her family….
This club has been chartered for less than 2 years. They hold a sunrise meeting with a $2 meal cost. It is the second club located in Singleton (Hunter Valley) and has 12 members.
Reminders:
1) Board Training on Saturday Sept 9th . 8 am – 11.30am Hornsby RSL (Please book by Sept 5)
2) Media Training on Sunday Sept 10th . 8 am – 11.30am at Hornsby RSL.
President Colin repeated Ric’s offer of a donation to the club for every member (and member referral) who get their car serviced at Hills Motor Repairs.
A Welcome Home card for Charlie was circulated for members to sign. The card and flowers will be put in the McCartney Residence in time for Charlie’s return on Tuesday Sept 12th.
Closing remarks
· Remember Meeting next week at Pennant Hills Golf Club.
· Board members meeting Tues Sept 12th at Max and Lynnes’ place.
· Next meeting at Springfield is a partners night with a pirate costume theme. We will hear a little about the sinking of the Titanic from our guest speaker.
· Just for the New Zealanders. What do you call a fish with no eye. FUSH
· Thank you all for coming. Have a great week making a difference until we meet again.
Colin
Night Report
Opening: Sgt Ric opened the meeting
Grace: Max Henderson
Toast: Stan Baseley
President Colin welcomed fellow Rotarians, Helen Ballinger and the guest speaker Tony Edwards who will talk to us about Mind Dogs. President Colin gave a special thanks to Andrew and Max for their hard work on the very successful Trivia Night.
President Col’s Report
Refer President’s report in bulletin.
Director’s Reports
Max (Club Service) – Please advise Max if you are going to be away, so he can complete the roster. Also wanted to get final numbers for the North Rocks presentation of Ladies in Lavender, which are $25 pp.
Cawas (Community Service) – Talked about the upcoming Tree of Joy. Please let him know if you have a charity that the club should be supporting.
Andrew (Fund Raising) – 190 people attended the Trivia Night and we raised $5,100 gross and $4,500 net from the evening.
Keith (Membership) – Membership committee meeting to be held at 5/9 at 7.30pm at Keith’s house.
Barry (Vocational) – John spoke about the upcoming Vocational visit to Baulkham Hills TAFE dinner (21/11/17). Max number of 30 people of which we already have 11 registered to attend.
Rosemary (Youth) – Harry Zheng will speak to the club about sponsorship for MUNA in America. RYLA and RYPEN applications are now open and looking for worthy candidates. Anna is going well in Japan. Youth meeting on Wed 20/9/17 at 7.30pm at the Clarke’s residence.
Tony C (Treasurers) – Encourage everyone to either continue or to start to pay electronically as much as possible. CBA charged the club over $200 in July for our merchant fees. Also, there is a Garage Sale Bric-a-Brac meeting hosted by Glenda on Wed 13/9/17 at 7.30pm at the Coote’s residence.
Guest Speaker
Name – Tony Edwards
Organisation – Mind Dogs
Topic – Mental Illness
Mental health affects 1 in 5 adults in Australia, it doesn’t discriminate between age, gender or race. There are 8 suicides a day in Australia. Of which, for every unfortunate death, there are 30 others that have attempted suicide that same day. If you, your family or friends need to reach out to anyone then Lifelines phone number is 13 11 14.
How can mental illness be treated and what can be done:
· Medical professional help
· Medication
· Mind Dog
Mind Dog is an assistance dog program and is a non-for-profit organisation. It was started by Kath Phillips in 2011 and is available throughout all the states in Australia and is assisting over 1,100 people with mental illness.
Benefits of having a Mind Dog:
· Unconditional love
· Soothing for the person who needs the Mind Dog
· Promotes touch and contact for the person needing the Mind Dog
· It gives the person a responsibility to look after another living thing
Introduced and thanked by (speaker host) – David Turnbull
Webpage (reference if available) – www.minddog.org.au
General Business & Closing remarks
Sergeant at Arm’s
Heads & Tails won by: John Tchetchenian
Raffle won by: Ross Ballinger
Anthem: Gino Savio
John Tchetchenian
Grace: Max Henderson
Toast: Stan Baseley
President Colin welcomed fellow Rotarians, Helen Ballinger and the guest speaker Tony Edwards who will talk to us about Mind Dogs. President Colin gave a special thanks to Andrew and Max for their hard work on the very successful Trivia Night.
President Col’s Report
Refer President’s report in bulletin.
Director’s Reports
Max (Club Service) – Please advise Max if you are going to be away, so he can complete the roster. Also wanted to get final numbers for the North Rocks presentation of Ladies in Lavender, which are $25 pp.
Cawas (Community Service) – Talked about the upcoming Tree of Joy. Please let him know if you have a charity that the club should be supporting.
Andrew (Fund Raising) – 190 people attended the Trivia Night and we raised $5,100 gross and $4,500 net from the evening.
Keith (Membership) – Membership committee meeting to be held at 5/9 at 7.30pm at Keith’s house.
Barry (Vocational) – John spoke about the upcoming Vocational visit to Baulkham Hills TAFE dinner (21/11/17). Max number of 30 people of which we already have 11 registered to attend.
Rosemary (Youth) – Harry Zheng will speak to the club about sponsorship for MUNA in America. RYLA and RYPEN applications are now open and looking for worthy candidates. Anna is going well in Japan. Youth meeting on Wed 20/9/17 at 7.30pm at the Clarke’s residence.
Tony C (Treasurers) – Encourage everyone to either continue or to start to pay electronically as much as possible. CBA charged the club over $200 in July for our merchant fees. Also, there is a Garage Sale Bric-a-Brac meeting hosted by Glenda on Wed 13/9/17 at 7.30pm at the Coote’s residence.
Guest Speaker
Name – Tony Edwards
Organisation – Mind Dogs
Topic – Mental Illness
Mental health affects 1 in 5 adults in Australia, it doesn’t discriminate between age, gender or race. There are 8 suicides a day in Australia. Of which, for every unfortunate death, there are 30 others that have attempted suicide that same day. If you, your family or friends need to reach out to anyone then Lifelines phone number is 13 11 14.
How can mental illness be treated and what can be done:
· Medical professional help
· Medication
· Mind Dog
Mind Dog is an assistance dog program and is a non-for-profit organisation. It was started by Kath Phillips in 2011 and is available throughout all the states in Australia and is assisting over 1,100 people with mental illness.
Benefits of having a Mind Dog:
· Unconditional love
· Soothing for the person who needs the Mind Dog
· Promotes touch and contact for the person needing the Mind Dog
· It gives the person a responsibility to look after another living thing
Introduced and thanked by (speaker host) – David Turnbull
Webpage (reference if available) – www.minddog.org.au
General Business & Closing remarks
- Remember Meeting next week at Pennant Hills Golf Club.
- Board members meeting Tues Sept 12th at Max and Lynnes’ place.
- Next meeting at Springfield, 18th Sept, is a partner’s night with a pirate costume theme. We will hear a little about the sinking of the Titanic from our guest speaker.
Sergeant at Arm’s
Heads & Tails won by: John Tchetchenian
Raffle won by: Ross Ballinger
Anthem: Gino Savio
John Tchetchenian
Night Photos
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This Week's Humour
20 Obvious Signs Humanity Is Regressing
Jim
Great Golf Lines
1 These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.
~ PGA Hall of Famer Sam Snead
2. I was three over today: One over a house, one over a patio and one over a swimming pool..
~ Baseball Hall of Famer George Brett
3 Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.
~ Sports Writer Jim Murray
4. The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.
~ Baseball Hall of Famer Mickey Mantle
5. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.
~ Actor Kevin Costner
6 I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
7. After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
8. The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
~ Tom Weiskopf
9. Swing hard in case you hit it.
~ Football QB Dan Marino
10. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.
~ Lord Robertson
11. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
~ Jack Benny
12. There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
~ Ben Hogan
13. Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.
~ Jack Nicklaus
14. The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law.
~ H. G. Wells
15. I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.
~ Billy Graham
16. If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf
~ Bob Hope
17. While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake in a sand trap.
~ Henny Youngman
18. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
~ Jack Lemmon
19. You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
~ Lee Trevino
20. I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.
~ Lee Trevino
Jim
1 These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.
~ PGA Hall of Famer Sam Snead
2. I was three over today: One over a house, one over a patio and one over a swimming pool..
~ Baseball Hall of Famer George Brett
3 Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.
~ Sports Writer Jim Murray
4. The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.
~ Baseball Hall of Famer Mickey Mantle
5. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.
~ Actor Kevin Costner
6 I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
7. After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
8. The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
~ Tom Weiskopf
9. Swing hard in case you hit it.
~ Football QB Dan Marino
10. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.
~ Lord Robertson
11. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
~ Jack Benny
12. There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
~ Ben Hogan
13. Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best.
~ Jack Nicklaus
14. The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law.
~ H. G. Wells
15. I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.
~ Billy Graham
16. If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf
~ Bob Hope
17. While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake in a sand trap.
~ Henny Youngman
18. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
~ Jack Lemmon
19. You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
~ Lee Trevino
20. I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.
~ Lee Trevino
Jim
Firey Humour
A homeless guy is traveling down a country lane, tired and hungry he comes across
a Pub called the "George and the Dragon."
Although it's late and the Pub is closed he knocks on the door.
The innkeeper's wife sticks her head out of a window.
"Could I have some food?" he asks.
The woman glances at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition and sternly says, "No!"
"Any chance of a pint of ale then?"
"No!" she says again.
"Could I at least sleep in your barn?"
"No!" By this time, she was shouting.
The down-and-out says, "OK Then Might I please...?"
"What now?" the woman shouts impatiently.
"Might I please have a word with George?
Stan
A homeless guy is traveling down a country lane, tired and hungry he comes across
a Pub called the "George and the Dragon."
Although it's late and the Pub is closed he knocks on the door.
The innkeeper's wife sticks her head out of a window.
"Could I have some food?" he asks.
The woman glances at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition and sternly says, "No!"
"Any chance of a pint of ale then?"
"No!" she says again.
"Could I at least sleep in your barn?"
"No!" By this time, she was shouting.
The down-and-out says, "OK Then Might I please...?"
"What now?" the woman shouts impatiently.
"Might I please have a word with George?
Stan
Joke Bank content is 5 jokes.
Club Calendar
Editor's Note: If you wish to download and print the Calendar please click here.
Bulletin Editor - Keith Ball
