The Next Meetings |
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Monday 10th July
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Primitive Africa - Tony Makin
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Monday 17th July
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Club Assembly
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Monday 24th July
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Why Naval Heroes were not awarded a VC - Noel Phelan
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Duty Roster
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Inside This Issue |
Upcoming Events |
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14th July
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Spamalot presented by SYMT
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Spamalot presented by SYMT - Hornsby RSL Club - Friday, 14 July 7:30pm
Written by Eric Idle, and presented by Sydney Youth Musical Theatre, Spamalot is lovingly ripped off from the classic film comedy MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL. It retells the legend of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table.
SYMT (Sydney Youth Musical Theatre) are renowned for tremendous quality shows featuring performers aged between 14 to 25 years. They have two productions pa with July for the older U25 age group and in November for the U18 age group.
Our club members and partners have developed a strong following over the past three years with usually twenty to thirty supporting each show. Combined with the recently refurbished bistro an affordable and enjoyable night out is readily achievable.
To book please deposit $32.00 per attendee into our Rotary General Account by Friday 23 June 2017 as follows:
BSB: 062 890
Account Number: 1005 2963
Please quote your surname and SYMT
Written by Eric Idle, and presented by Sydney Youth Musical Theatre, Spamalot is lovingly ripped off from the classic film comedy MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL. It retells the legend of King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table.
SYMT (Sydney Youth Musical Theatre) are renowned for tremendous quality shows featuring performers aged between 14 to 25 years. They have two productions pa with July for the older U25 age group and in November for the U18 age group.
Our club members and partners have developed a strong following over the past three years with usually twenty to thirty supporting each show. Combined with the recently refurbished bistro an affordable and enjoyable night out is readily achievable.
To book please deposit $32.00 per attendee into our Rotary General Account by Friday 23 June 2017 as follows:
BSB: 062 890
Account Number: 1005 2963
Please quote your surname and SYMT
Rotary Foundation - Six Areas of Focus
Logos for the six areas of focus
Rotary’s 34,000 clubs and 1.2 million members serve communities around the world, each with unique concerns and needs. Rotarians have continually adapted and improved the way they respond to those needs, taking on a broad range of service projects. The most successful and sustainable Rotary service tends to fall within one of the following six areas:
- Peace and conflict prevention/resolution
- Disease prevention and treatment
- Water and sanitation
- Maternal and child health
- Basic education and literacy
- Economic and community development
- Provide direction to Rotarians interested in developing service projects
- Improve Rotarians’ capacity to address needs
- Show the world that Rotary is a global leader in humanitarian service
Significant Club fundraising events during the year
The Book Sale March 2017. As the result of a lot of hard work the April Book Sale was a great success, especially from the organisers Max Henderson, Andrew Little and Clive Denmark. Funds raised were circa $13,000. Well done.
2016 Trivia Night
The Club held a very successful trivia night on Saturday 27 August 2016 at the Cherrybrook Community Centre, raising just over $5,000 towards the charities we support.
The Club held a very successful trivia night on Saturday 27 August 2016 at the Cherrybrook Community Centre, raising just over $5,000 towards the charities we support.
The Garage Sale
We have just had a very successful Garage Sale on the weekend of 8/9 October raising a record gross of over $30k. The combination of good planning and benign weather contributed to this result.
We have just had a very successful Garage Sale on the weekend of 8/9 October raising a record gross of over $30k. The combination of good planning and benign weather contributed to this result.
Barbecues
The club runs fund raising barbecues throughout the year, mainly at Bunnings (both Dural and Thornleigh) Here are Barry, Tony, Nick and David hard at work. at Thornleigh..
The club runs fund raising barbecues throughout the year, mainly at Bunnings (both Dural and Thornleigh) Here are Barry, Tony, Nick and David hard at work. at Thornleigh..
Meetings
Monday 6:30pm for 7:00pm - Springfield House - 245 New Line Road, Dural 2158
Apologies
If you are unable to attend or are bringing a guest (even if they are your partner) you must notify Jilda.
Phone 8484 7106 or email [email protected] before 11am on the day of the meeting.
Phone 8484 7106 or email [email protected] before 11am on the day of the meeting.
If you are expected and do not show you will be required to pay for the meal.
President's Report
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Tonight was our first youth night for the year and the induction of 2 new members. It was a great pleasure to welcome a large number of guests tonight, in fact half of the total attendance of 53. The Love family came along to support Mikaela who is our outgoing exchange student from Mount St Benedict College. The Morales family supporting Marcus who we sponsored to attend the winter Youth Program of Enrichment (RYPEN) in June this year. Daisy Montano from the Rotary Club of Norwest Sunrise and English teacher from Marcus’ school. Amelia Craig our outbound exchange student from last and daughter of Janelle. The Barrett Family supporting our new club member Linda. Joseph our other new club member and his wife Carmen. Niru Ramanandhan and his sons Harrison and Lakshaman who were guests of Carol. Megan McCartney, Charlie's daughter. Member partners Anne Sharpe, Jill Turnbull, Gwen Baxter, Pamela Makin, Glenda Coote, Heather Hansen, Desley Little, Lyn Paynter, and Jill Turnbull. It was gratifying to welcome 6 children among our guests.
We heard a magnificent presentation from Sarah tonight, giving us an insight into her year in Australia. She left our Rotary family Tuesday evening for her home in Switzerland so The McCartney family, Sharpe family, Rosemary and Paul along with a number of her school friends saw her off. She managed to go into the immigration hall with a cheerful smile and no tears. May have been some tears though from some seeing her off. District Changeover was a well attended event. Our club made two applications for recognition.
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Some interesting facts about our districts’ activities last year. We have 72 Clubs and 51 of them inducted 190 new members. More than 550 young people were involved in Youth programs. Forty three clubs participated in the End Polio Program contributing $854,000 USD when matching funds included. We were third in the world which resulted in receiving an Award at the Atlanta Rotary International Conference.
Thanks to Rosemary for a very professional job running the youth evening where we heard from Marcus, Mikaela, and Sarah.
Welcome Linda and Paul; Joseph and Carmen. I am sure you will find membership of this club, both rewarding fun while doing good for the community.
The club finances received a boost with a generous donation of $1000 from Daniel Tan resulting from the sale of club members home by Century 21. Thank you Daniel.
The first Board meeting for this year is at my place on July 12th at 7.30 PM.
Club Assembly is on July 17th. Members are encouraged to come along and have their say about the direction for this club during this year. Directors will give a brief overview of activities for their portfolio and seek member feedback. There will be an update Next Big Thing update.
The President thanked Tony Coote for hosting the Next Big Thing meeting last week and continuing to champion this important project. He also thanked the committee that is putting a lot or work into this project. For new members and guests, the Next Big Thing is an initiative to seek out a major project for the club to fund. It is proving to be no easy task to find a project that meets our criteria, but progress is being made.
Past member Clive had been touch regarding a fundraising theatre night at Woy Woy on August 26th some of us are going to see how they do it as a possible future fundraising opportunity. Talk to Andrew if you are interested. Clive is also putting together a team to come to our Trivia night.
Members were reminded to check the weekly Bulletin notice email for rostered duties, and to advise Max Henderson (who is returning from holiday this week) if not available and who will be filling in for them.
Next week’s speaker is our very own Tony Makin with an enthralling tale about Primitive Africa. Not a partners night but of course they are welcome.
Have a great week making a difference until we meet again next Monday for more run and fellowship. Invite a guest along.
Colin
Thanks to Rosemary for a very professional job running the youth evening where we heard from Marcus, Mikaela, and Sarah.
Welcome Linda and Paul; Joseph and Carmen. I am sure you will find membership of this club, both rewarding fun while doing good for the community.
The club finances received a boost with a generous donation of $1000 from Daniel Tan resulting from the sale of club members home by Century 21. Thank you Daniel.
The first Board meeting for this year is at my place on July 12th at 7.30 PM.
Club Assembly is on July 17th. Members are encouraged to come along and have their say about the direction for this club during this year. Directors will give a brief overview of activities for their portfolio and seek member feedback. There will be an update Next Big Thing update.
The President thanked Tony Coote for hosting the Next Big Thing meeting last week and continuing to champion this important project. He also thanked the committee that is putting a lot or work into this project. For new members and guests, the Next Big Thing is an initiative to seek out a major project for the club to fund. It is proving to be no easy task to find a project that meets our criteria, but progress is being made.
Past member Clive had been touch regarding a fundraising theatre night at Woy Woy on August 26th some of us are going to see how they do it as a possible future fundraising opportunity. Talk to Andrew if you are interested. Clive is also putting together a team to come to our Trivia night.
Members were reminded to check the weekly Bulletin notice email for rostered duties, and to advise Max Henderson (who is returning from holiday this week) if not available and who will be filling in for them.
Next week’s speaker is our very own Tony Makin with an enthralling tale about Primitive Africa. Not a partners night but of course they are welcome.
Have a great week making a difference until we meet again next Monday for more run and fellowship. Invite a guest along.
Colin
Night Report
Sargeant Ric opened the meeting to a full house of members and guests.
Paul Laroumanie proposed the toast during which he commiserated with NZ for their loss in the Rugby.
Sargeant Ric then welcomed President Colin Sharpe to the Microphone who welcomed the following guests.
Michaela Love our Outgoing Student next year and her parents Nicole and Simon and siblings William and Rebecca.
Marcus Morales who attended Winter RYPEN and his family
Amelia Craig, daughter or our Janelle Craig.
He also introduced two special persons who were to be inducted to membership of our Club, being,
Linda Barrett along with her Landscaper husband Paul and their children Alana, Laura and Sian and Joseph Degabrielle and his wife Carmen.
Then we had as Guests….
Niru Ramanandhan and his sons Harrison and Lakshman invited by Carol Russell
Megan McCartney, daughter of Charlotte McCartney
And of course the valued partners of the club members, all were welcomed warmly.
President Colin then reminded us that Sarah our current exchange student from Switzerland would be leaving us the next day, on Tuesday 4th July.
The District Change Over night was held recently and the Sharpe’s, Rosemary and Rob attended to represent our Club.
Two accolades of note were made on the night
Best Bulletin…. Woy Woy Club won that award.
Best Website… Ryde Club were No1 in that regard, our Club were Runner Up to this award.
Keith Ball was commended for his efforts in maintaining and improving the high standard of our Bulletin. Job Well done Keith.
The District of Rotary our Club belong too welcomed 190 new Members last year, and 550 people in the district were involved in Youth Programmes in 2015/16.
Our district also rated very highly in the Matching Grants Programme operated by Rotary International…. $854,000 USD was contributed and we were commended for this at the Atlanta Conference a few weeks ago.
Colin reminded the Board members that the next meeting is on 12th July.
There is a Club Assembly on 17th July at which plans for “The Next Big Thing” will be unveiled to members after extensive behind the scenes work by Board /Committee Members to come up with a programme the Club can focus our attention and dollars to which will really make a difference.
Barry Freeman spoke of Vocational in our club, ie alive and well and places being sought for us to visit.
Member talks to be continued and Members were invited, if they have already done their segment on themselves and their lives, to speak about a matter of major interest to themselves that they may be involved in that we might be interested to hear of.
National Skills Week also to be discussed further and how we may be involved.
Immediate Past President Rosemary then had the pleasure of presenting Neville Hanson with his Paul Harris Award. Neville had been overseas on the Change Over night so presentation of the award was delayed until last night. Neville has been an invaluable member since he joined us having led up the Garage Sale committee last year, working on the Taldumande project, Flooring of the Guide Hall and being one of the IT Guru’s at meetings.
After a coffee break, the induction of new members proceeded.
Linda Barrett was presented to the Club by Charlotte McCartney who gave us the story of Linda’s life working in Retail Management and now with the Salvation Army and their Opportunity Shops. She has a Masters in Retail Management and accreditation In Positive Psychology.
Linda will be on the International and Marketing committees.
Joseph Degabrielle who was introduced by Andrew Little.
Joseph’s working life was in the industrial design field, having ended his working life before retirement at RESMED in Bella Vista leading Supplier training and Development programs and supply chain risk management.
Andrew advised us that Joseph is fit and healthy, has a strong back, and can lift heavy things.!!! All of which of course are talents greatly appreciated when it comes time for our major events, the Book Fair and the Garage Sale.
Joseph will be on the International and Fund Raising Committee.
Both were presented with Badges, Certificates and Tools of Trade, being a Rotary Apron and a Cap.
We then moved into the Youth segment of the Meeting.
Rosemary led this section through and invited the following to speak..
Marcus Morales spoke about his attendance at the RYPEN winter camp in the Blue Mountains.
He was at first anxious about attending however soon realised the huge benefits of attending, namely working with different people in the projects they were given, being independent but part of a group, working productively together to achieve an aim, new friendships and a new outlook on life.
He told us he was speechless as to the many many benefits of attending such a camp.
He thanked the Club profusely for sponsoring him and his parents for allowing him to attend. He said it was the best thing he had ever done in his young life.
We then heard from Micaela Love who is to be our Outbound Exchange student from January, 2018 to January 2019. She told us that after hearing of the experience of being an Exchange Student from others, she wrote a long essay to her parents putting forward all the reasons why she should be allowed to apply.
She is hoping to be allocated a European Club as her main interests in her studies are Science, English and History and she hopes to become an Archaeologist in her professional life.
Then we came to Sarah….. Leaving us on Tuesday 4th to go home to Switzerland. How she has grown and matured during this year of being so far away from home and in a new country. She entertained us with her thoughts of what she thought it would be like and what in fact it has turned out to be….
Before she came here she thought….. Australia was always hot / Very big / She would have not many friends / Everyone loved Vegemite /Schools were different / Koala’s everywhere….. (spiders got a mention too)
In reality after being here a while… It is even bigger / Freezing /Not everyone loves Vegemite / TIM TAMS are amazing /School is the same / Education is different / Koala’s are only in Zoo’s
Things she didn’t know before she got here… About “Mufti” /Choice of subjects at school / Generosity of Australians / Aussie slang (fav word “Megahunk” - girls familiar with this one!!) /Our love of meat - BBQ’s / And she met her best friend here.
What else she learnt …..
Everyone entitled to their own opinion / Distance can strengthen friendships / She was not susceptible to Homesickness… missed home but not a problem / 3 hours on the road is not much anymore / Length of friendship does not = strength of friendship / How to speak more confidently in front of people.
Ways I’ve changed….. more independent, more diplomatic, has a future plan to be a Psychologist when she finishes school, and has a Best Friend here now.
She thanked all members of the club and especially those who had opened their homes to her and made her so welcome.
President Colin then took the chair and announced that Daniel Tan had made a donation of $1000 to the club as per his promise that if he sold a home for someone in the club he would make such a donation. Thank you Daniel.
Colin then thanked the Youth Committee for all that they do in working with the Youth Programmes.
The lucky raffle was drawn by Sarah and won by Carol Russell and a second draw had Neville Hanson taking home the bottle of Red.
The meeting closed at 9.20 pm.
Carol
Paul Laroumanie proposed the toast during which he commiserated with NZ for their loss in the Rugby.
Sargeant Ric then welcomed President Colin Sharpe to the Microphone who welcomed the following guests.
Michaela Love our Outgoing Student next year and her parents Nicole and Simon and siblings William and Rebecca.
Marcus Morales who attended Winter RYPEN and his family
Amelia Craig, daughter or our Janelle Craig.
He also introduced two special persons who were to be inducted to membership of our Club, being,
Linda Barrett along with her Landscaper husband Paul and their children Alana, Laura and Sian and Joseph Degabrielle and his wife Carmen.
Then we had as Guests….
Niru Ramanandhan and his sons Harrison and Lakshman invited by Carol Russell
Megan McCartney, daughter of Charlotte McCartney
And of course the valued partners of the club members, all were welcomed warmly.
President Colin then reminded us that Sarah our current exchange student from Switzerland would be leaving us the next day, on Tuesday 4th July.
The District Change Over night was held recently and the Sharpe’s, Rosemary and Rob attended to represent our Club.
Two accolades of note were made on the night
Best Bulletin…. Woy Woy Club won that award.
Best Website… Ryde Club were No1 in that regard, our Club were Runner Up to this award.
Keith Ball was commended for his efforts in maintaining and improving the high standard of our Bulletin. Job Well done Keith.
The District of Rotary our Club belong too welcomed 190 new Members last year, and 550 people in the district were involved in Youth Programmes in 2015/16.
Our district also rated very highly in the Matching Grants Programme operated by Rotary International…. $854,000 USD was contributed and we were commended for this at the Atlanta Conference a few weeks ago.
Colin reminded the Board members that the next meeting is on 12th July.
There is a Club Assembly on 17th July at which plans for “The Next Big Thing” will be unveiled to members after extensive behind the scenes work by Board /Committee Members to come up with a programme the Club can focus our attention and dollars to which will really make a difference.
Barry Freeman spoke of Vocational in our club, ie alive and well and places being sought for us to visit.
Member talks to be continued and Members were invited, if they have already done their segment on themselves and their lives, to speak about a matter of major interest to themselves that they may be involved in that we might be interested to hear of.
National Skills Week also to be discussed further and how we may be involved.
Immediate Past President Rosemary then had the pleasure of presenting Neville Hanson with his Paul Harris Award. Neville had been overseas on the Change Over night so presentation of the award was delayed until last night. Neville has been an invaluable member since he joined us having led up the Garage Sale committee last year, working on the Taldumande project, Flooring of the Guide Hall and being one of the IT Guru’s at meetings.
After a coffee break, the induction of new members proceeded.
Linda Barrett was presented to the Club by Charlotte McCartney who gave us the story of Linda’s life working in Retail Management and now with the Salvation Army and their Opportunity Shops. She has a Masters in Retail Management and accreditation In Positive Psychology.
Linda will be on the International and Marketing committees.
Joseph Degabrielle who was introduced by Andrew Little.
Joseph’s working life was in the industrial design field, having ended his working life before retirement at RESMED in Bella Vista leading Supplier training and Development programs and supply chain risk management.
Andrew advised us that Joseph is fit and healthy, has a strong back, and can lift heavy things.!!! All of which of course are talents greatly appreciated when it comes time for our major events, the Book Fair and the Garage Sale.
Joseph will be on the International and Fund Raising Committee.
Both were presented with Badges, Certificates and Tools of Trade, being a Rotary Apron and a Cap.
We then moved into the Youth segment of the Meeting.
Rosemary led this section through and invited the following to speak..
Marcus Morales spoke about his attendance at the RYPEN winter camp in the Blue Mountains.
He was at first anxious about attending however soon realised the huge benefits of attending, namely working with different people in the projects they were given, being independent but part of a group, working productively together to achieve an aim, new friendships and a new outlook on life.
He told us he was speechless as to the many many benefits of attending such a camp.
He thanked the Club profusely for sponsoring him and his parents for allowing him to attend. He said it was the best thing he had ever done in his young life.
We then heard from Micaela Love who is to be our Outbound Exchange student from January, 2018 to January 2019. She told us that after hearing of the experience of being an Exchange Student from others, she wrote a long essay to her parents putting forward all the reasons why she should be allowed to apply.
She is hoping to be allocated a European Club as her main interests in her studies are Science, English and History and she hopes to become an Archaeologist in her professional life.
Then we came to Sarah….. Leaving us on Tuesday 4th to go home to Switzerland. How she has grown and matured during this year of being so far away from home and in a new country. She entertained us with her thoughts of what she thought it would be like and what in fact it has turned out to be….
Before she came here she thought….. Australia was always hot / Very big / She would have not many friends / Everyone loved Vegemite /Schools were different / Koala’s everywhere….. (spiders got a mention too)
In reality after being here a while… It is even bigger / Freezing /Not everyone loves Vegemite / TIM TAMS are amazing /School is the same / Education is different / Koala’s are only in Zoo’s
Things she didn’t know before she got here… About “Mufti” /Choice of subjects at school / Generosity of Australians / Aussie slang (fav word “Megahunk” - girls familiar with this one!!) /Our love of meat - BBQ’s / And she met her best friend here.
What else she learnt …..
Everyone entitled to their own opinion / Distance can strengthen friendships / She was not susceptible to Homesickness… missed home but not a problem / 3 hours on the road is not much anymore / Length of friendship does not = strength of friendship / How to speak more confidently in front of people.
Ways I’ve changed….. more independent, more diplomatic, has a future plan to be a Psychologist when she finishes school, and has a Best Friend here now.
She thanked all members of the club and especially those who had opened their homes to her and made her so welcome.
President Colin then took the chair and announced that Daniel Tan had made a donation of $1000 to the club as per his promise that if he sold a home for someone in the club he would make such a donation. Thank you Daniel.
Colin then thanked the Youth Committee for all that they do in working with the Youth Programmes.
The lucky raffle was drawn by Sarah and won by Carol Russell and a second draw had Neville Hanson taking home the bottle of Red.
The meeting closed at 9.20 pm.
Carol
Night Photos
Click on a photo for a larger image
Birthdays
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Howard Fleming - 4th July
Tom Westcott - 6th July Heather Hansen - 10th July |
Anniversaries
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Nil
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This Week's Humour
The Sane Days
( If you’re under the age of 45……… You won't understand.)
My mum used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread butter on bread on the
same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.
Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in
ice pack coolers, but I can't remember getting colitis
Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake or at the beach
instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.
We all took PE ….and risked permanent injury wearing a pair of Dunlop
sandshoes instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles
and built in light reflectors that cost as much as a small car.
I can't recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.
We got the cane for doing something wrong at school, they used to call it
discipline yet we all grew up to accept the rules and to honour and respect those older than us.
We had 40+ kids in our class and we all learned to read and write, do maths
and spell almost all the words needed to write a grammatically correct
letter......., FUNNY THAT!!
We all said prayers in school and sang the national anthem, and staying in
detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.
I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.
I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo,
X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations,….. because we weren't!!
Oh yeah ... and where was the antibiotics and sterilisation kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!
We played “King of the Hill” on piles of gravel left on vacant building sites and when we got hurt,
mum pulled out the 5 shillings bottle of iodine and then, we got our backside spanked.
Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10 day dose of antibiotics
and now mum calls the lawyer to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.
To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family
How could we possibly have known that?
We never needed to get into group therapy and/or anger management classes.
We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn't even
notice that the entire country wasn't taking Prozac!
How did we ever survive I wonder ?
AAAAh, ………………..those WERE the days!!!!
My mum used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread butter on bread on the
same cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to get food poisoning.
Our school sandwiches were wrapped in wax paper in a brown paper bag, not in
ice pack coolers, but I can't remember getting colitis
Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake or at the beach
instead of a pristine pool (talk about boring), no beach closures then.
We all took PE ….and risked permanent injury wearing a pair of Dunlop
sandshoes instead of having cross-training athletic shoes with air cushion soles
and built in light reflectors that cost as much as a small car.
I can't recall any injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer we are now.
We got the cane for doing something wrong at school, they used to call it
discipline yet we all grew up to accept the rules and to honour and respect those older than us.
We had 40+ kids in our class and we all learned to read and write, do maths
and spell almost all the words needed to write a grammatically correct
letter......., FUNNY THAT!!
We all said prayers in school and sang the national anthem, and staying in
detention after school caught all sorts of negative attention.
I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was allowed to be proud of myself.
I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, Play Station, Nintendo,
X-box or 270 digital TV cable stations,….. because we weren't!!
Oh yeah ... and where was the antibiotics and sterilisation kit when I got that bee sting? I could have been killed!
We played “King of the Hill” on piles of gravel left on vacant building sites and when we got hurt,
mum pulled out the 5 shillings bottle of iodine and then, we got our backside spanked.
Now it's a trip to the emergency room, followed by a 10 day dose of antibiotics
and now mum calls the lawyer to sue the contractor for leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.
To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were from a dysfunctional family
How could we possibly have known that?
We never needed to get into group therapy and/or anger management classes.
We were obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn't even
notice that the entire country wasn't taking Prozac!
How did we ever survive I wonder ?
AAAAh, ………………..those WERE the days!!!!
Stan
Blond Men...
Well FINALLY, it just had to come to this sooner or later!
A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."
------------------------------------
A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat.
It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ."
He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
------------------------------------
A blond man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"
---------------------------------
A blond man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blond replies.
"The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I had a hard time breathing."
------------------------------------
An Italian tourist asks a blond man:
"Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blond man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
------------------------------------
A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
------------------------------------
Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
------------------------------------
A woman phoned her blond neighbor man and said:
"Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
To which the blond man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday!
Well FINALLY, it just had to come to this sooner or later!
A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"
He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."
------------------------------------
A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat.
It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ."
He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
------------------------------------
A blond man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.
"No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"
---------------------------------
A blond man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blond replies.
"The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I had a hard time breathing."
------------------------------------
An Italian tourist asks a blond man:
"Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the blond man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
------------------------------------
A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."
The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
------------------------------------
Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.
One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
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A woman phoned her blond neighbor man and said:
"Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
To which the blond man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday!
Barry
Club Calendar
Editor's Note: If you wish to download and print the Calendar please click here.
Bulletin Editor - Keith Ball
