Presidents Report
Hi All, well the big thing that has happened this week was the Trivia Night on Saturday night. Wow what a night we had 30 tables and some 211 participants from the following organisations:
Updates from past week:
- West Pennant Hills & Cherrybrook Lions,
- Probus clubs – WPH & District, Thornleigh, Coonara – Cherrybrook,
- our fellow Rotary clubs – Carlingford, NorWest Sunrise and Pennant Hills,
- our Exchange Students both inbound and outbound,
- FirstSubs,
- Dental Touch,
- Blue Wren House from Camden and
- members, partners, and friends from WPH & Cherrybrook Rotary Club.
Updates from past week:
- Iisa is keeping very busy, what with school and engaging with other Exchange students plus working the crowd at the Triva Night. It will be very good to hear from Iisa on our Zoom meeting on Monday 4 Sept.
- International Student Commitment. Please remember this is a commitment by the Club. We all need to get involved and help the Host families. If you are going somewhere pls ask the Host Family if you can take Iisa. Multiple benefits, good for you, good for Iisa, respite for the Host family
- Rotary Leadership Institute Courses (RLI): RLI is a training course offered to Rotarians to develop their skills in leadership and management within Clubs to improve performance, knowledge and enjoyment in leading or helping to lead Clubs in the District. The next course, currently open for registrations is 27-28-29 Oct 2023. Run via Zoom and starts on Friday night. Anne completed the course on 11-13 Aug and was very impressed with the course. Future dates are: 23-24-25 Feb 2024, 17-18-19 May 2024.
- Our Global Grant. Now the grant has been approved for $US50,000 there are lots of meeting going on plus asking for the commitments from other clubs and then receiving the global grant into one of our bank accounts. The Team is doing a great job.
- On 3pm Sunday 13 August, Julian Leeser organised an information session on “The Voice” held at Hornsby RSL. It was an opportunity for people in our community to learn from experts and ask questions about this important upcoming vote. Colin S and I attended and a very interesting session. Colin S and I also attended an information session organised by Alex Hawke at Blacktown on Wed 23 Aug where they talked about the “No Vote”. Both sessions very interesting.
- Maui Wild Fire Disaster – RAWCS have set up a disaster relief fund to provide funds for humanitarian programs to assist the people and communities affected by the catastrophic wild fires on Maui, Hawaii. Full details in the Bulletin.
Donation link: https://directory.rawcs.com.au/9-2023-24
- Our next big event is the Garage Sale on Sat 30th September at Cherrybrook Uniting Church between 8am and 3pm. We will have ourselves stalls for a BBQ, Homewares, Cakes, Plants and Tools and we will sell off sites for Markets and Car Boot sale. The Flyer is in the Bulletin. The banners will go up this week.
- Upcoming Webinars. There will be multiple webinars coming up via Zoom on Regionalisation to answer questions about the Regional Council and Community Groups and if you are interested in nominating for any of the new Regional Roles. These sessions will be held on the following dates and this information is in the Bulletin. I encourage people to attend to learn more about what is happening.
- Tuesday 29 August at 1pm AEST - Register here
- Wednesday 30 August at 6:30pm AEST - Register here
- Saturday 2 September at 10am AEST - Register here
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That’s it for the week so Let’s look after each other, stay safe and let’s do it.
Remember to check “What’s On” for what’s on. Yours in Rotary Neville Hansen |
Humour
Mockingbird is best ... contributed by Cawas
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Sunday Special... contributed by Tony C
A Priest in a small town was called away for an emergency on a Sunday afternoon just before he was to hear confessions.
Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, and having no one else to assist him he called his Rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him.
The Rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say or do.
The Priest told him to come over and he'd work with him for a little bit to show him what to do.
The Rabbi dutifully came over.
The Rabbi and the Priest were in the confessional working out the details.
A few minutes later, a woman came in and said, "Father, forgive me for I have sinned."
The priest asked, "What did you do?"
The woman said, "I committed adultery."
Priest, "How many times?"
Woman, "Three times."
Priest, "Say two Hail Marys, put five dollars in the donation box, go and sin no more."
A few minutes later a man entered the confessional.
He said, "Father, forgive me for I have sinned."
Priest, "What did you do?"
Man, "I committed adultery."
Priest, "How many times?"
Man, "Three times."
Priest, "Say two Hail Marys, put five dollars in the box, go and sin no more."
The Rabbi told the Priest that he thought he understood the procedure, so the Priest left.
A few minutes later another woman entered and said, "Father forgive me for I have sinned."
Rabbi, "What did you do?"
Woman, "I committed adultery."
Rabbi, "How many times?"
Woman, "Once."
Rabbi, "OK! Go do it two more times. We have a special on this week, three for five dollars!"
Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, and having no one else to assist him he called his Rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him.
The Rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say or do.
The Priest told him to come over and he'd work with him for a little bit to show him what to do.
The Rabbi dutifully came over.
The Rabbi and the Priest were in the confessional working out the details.
A few minutes later, a woman came in and said, "Father, forgive me for I have sinned."
The priest asked, "What did you do?"
The woman said, "I committed adultery."
Priest, "How many times?"
Woman, "Three times."
Priest, "Say two Hail Marys, put five dollars in the donation box, go and sin no more."
A few minutes later a man entered the confessional.
He said, "Father, forgive me for I have sinned."
Priest, "What did you do?"
Man, "I committed adultery."
Priest, "How many times?"
Man, "Three times."
Priest, "Say two Hail Marys, put five dollars in the box, go and sin no more."
The Rabbi told the Priest that he thought he understood the procedure, so the Priest left.
A few minutes later another woman entered and said, "Father forgive me for I have sinned."
Rabbi, "What did you do?"
Woman, "I committed adultery."
Rabbi, "How many times?"
Woman, "Once."
Rabbi, "OK! Go do it two more times. We have a special on this week, three for five dollars!"
That's It I've Had Enough... contributed by Jim
A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again,
decided to leave a note, saying, “That`s it I’ve had enough and I have left you.
Don’t bother coming after me, I won`t be coming back !.”
Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.
After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom.
She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note.
After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone.
“She’s finally gone…yeah I know, about bloody time, I’m coming to see you, put on that sexy French nightie.
I love you so much …can’t wait to see you…we’ll do all the naughty things you like.
“He hung up, Whistling a happy tune, grabbed his keys and left.
She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed.
Seething with rage and with tears in her eyes
She grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet you silly old bugger. We’re outta bread: be back in five minutes.
decided to leave a note, saying, “That`s it I’ve had enough and I have left you.
Don’t bother coming after me, I won`t be coming back !.”
Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.
After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom.
She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note.
After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone.
“She’s finally gone…yeah I know, about bloody time, I’m coming to see you, put on that sexy French nightie.
I love you so much …can’t wait to see you…we’ll do all the naughty things you like.
“He hung up, Whistling a happy tune, grabbed his keys and left.
She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed.
Seething with rage and with tears in her eyes
She grabbed the note to see what he wrote…
“I can see your feet you silly old bugger. We’re outta bread: be back in five minutes.
Now you understand the mind of God!... contributed by Jim
God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel found him... resting on the seventh day.
He inquired, "Where have you been?"
God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it.. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."
"Balance?" Inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."
God explained, pointing to different parts of the earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."
God continued pointing to different countries "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"
"That's Washington State, one of the most glorious places on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace and producers of software."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."
God smiled, "There's another Washington .. Wait till you see the idiots I put there”.
He inquired, "Where have you been?"
God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it.. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."
"Balance?" Inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."
God explained, pointing to different parts of the earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."
God continued pointing to different countries "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"
"That's Washington State, one of the most glorious places on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace and producers of software."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance."
God smiled, "There's another Washington .. Wait till you see the idiots I put there”.
Difference... contributed by Cawas
